Survival of the Couples: Soul Calibur
by Celestial Zodiac
Summary: All the couples are going to play out in parts of Shakespheare's works! What will happen? Will Maxi get tortured by Amy? Will Astaroth eat worms? Will Sophitia forget the parts of the characters? Read and find out! So sorry for the late update!
1. Day One Part One

A/N: Hey, like, gee, I am going to edit each chapter to a more acceptable format. I can't really say my writing style improved a lot, but I guess it did a little bit. I don't know if I will ever update this story or any of my other stories I haven't updated, but I hope I do.

Disclaimer: I own nothing: I don't own the Soul Calibur characters or any other character from another franchise. Though, I do own this fanfic and my OC Samara, but that is all.

A very young crazy, blond woman entered the stage and bowed down to her audience before introducing herself, "Hello there! I am your beautiful hostess hosting this fabulous show called _Survival of the Couples_. My name is Samara Clare and the OC of Celestial Zodiac! Made from parts of Soul Calibur 3's character creation! That is enough about me, now to explain a lot of things about this DEADLY show!"

Samara pulled out a long sheet of paper from her pant's pocket and begins to read out loud from it,"I will begin with these list or rules here: One: If one of the two of the pair die or are severely injured, they will get disqualified and get kicked out of this show; can't stay without boy/girl friend. Two: The pair doesn't really have to love each other to be here. Three: Anyone can compete, even if they are not human. Four: No Homosexuals, not in this story! Five: If you want to have sex, then get a room so I don't have to see you doing it like bunnies (even though I really, really love watching bunnies mate...) Six: If the pair doesn't like it here, they can pack their stuff and get the HACK out of here!"

Samara crumbled the paper into a tiny ball and harshly threw it on the floor. Scaring the camera man, making him take a few steps away from her as far as possible. This clearly made her mad and gave him a nasty look, making him break into a nervous sweat.

"Anyways..." She began again, "Let me list all the pairing that are partaking in this show of a lifetime! So here they are:

"Siegfried/Hilde

Kilik/Xianghua

Talim/Yunsung

Hwang/Seung Mina

Ivy/Voldo (WTF!)

Taki/Mitsurugi

Maxi/Amy (hold on a minute, isn't she thirteen?)

Sophitia/Rothion

Setsuka/Arthur

Astaroth/Ashlotte (very Interesting)

Raphael/Sheherazade

Cassandra/Starkiller

Algol/Kamikirimusi

Zasalamel/Angol Fear (figures)

Miser/Greed (Eww, he's old!)

Last but not least…"

She suddenly stopped and glared at the last pairing on the sheet she was holding. A few seconds later she screeched so loud that the glass of the camera cracked, and the camera man's ears were ringing from such a cruel screech!

"Ouch! W-what was that for!" The camera man asked still trembling from her screech.

"This!" Samara _literally_ shoved the paper in front of his face, "Tira, with my Robbie the Rabbit? Jamais! She is going to pay!" Out of no where, Samara grabs a bottle and smashes it in front of the man's feet out of anger, making the recorder scream from terror.

Then she suddenly flashed a smile at the camera: With a whole new _different_ expression on her face, "Anyways~! The location of this show is on an island that doesn't exist anywhere on the world map! So no one can escape easily!"

"But," The camera man foolishly interupted her, "didn't you say they could leave if they-"

"Do you want me to fire you?" He zipped his lips shut, "I thought so, anyways, on the next episode, I will interview all the couples to find out why they came to this show! Well, till next time on this fabulous show!"

Samara waved to all her viewers as she stepped out of the stage to head back to her bunny shaped house, leaving the poor camera man on the set by himself. He thought to himself what he has gotten himself into?

A/N: Well, was this edited chapter any better from the original? I hope so.


	2. Day One Part Two: Interview

Disclaimer: Don't own Soul Calibur nor it's characters, they belong to Namco. Nor do I own Silent Hill and Its characters. There will be like only one or two but that is it. Also, I do not own Star Wars.

Samara: Hello, This is still day 1 part 2. Today, I'm going to interview each and every one of these unfortunate souls that foolishly joined this Not-so-save show. Filled with death traps and all that other sweet stuff. J First of I'm going to start with Siegfried and Hilde. Please enter the room idiots. We don't have all day

Samara was greeted by a dwarf German in very huge junks of crystal armor and also another woman with silver armor with puppy designs on it. Samara hates puppies.

Samara: Where is Siegfried?

Siegfried: I am.

Samara: You ARE?

Siegfried: Yes! Why?

Samara: Nothing, you just look VERY feminine with that long disgusting gorgeous hair.

Siegfried: Now your saying that guys can't have long beautiful hair!? (his face was turning red of anger and embarrassment)

Samara: Well, DUH! You look like Sophitia. Even my own mother.

Siegfried felt like killing this woman for calling him queer, but he'll let her live, for now…

Samara: So lets begin with the questions. First, Who are you two and where are you from?

Siegfried: My full name is Siegfried Schtauffen. And I'm from Ober-Getzenberg, Holy Roman Empire

Samara: Wow, don't care. You Hilde?

Siegfried was going to about to draw his blade, but Hilde told him to halt.

Hilde: My name is Hildegard Von Krone and I'm from Wolfkrone Kingdom, Holy Roman Empire.

Samara: Does your kingdom have stupid wolfs?

Hilde: Of course not!

Samara: Good! Because I hate wolfs and you already.

Hilde: Why you little

Samara: Bitch.

Hilde: What did you call me.

Samara: Bitch, meaning female dog, dog.

Hilde: In the name of my Kingdom! I will

Siegfried: Calm down Hilde, once this is over, we can both kill her.

They were both laughing at the thought, Samara just shrugged her shoulders not caring right now.

Samara: Okay, glad you both are having as much fun as I am. What do you two do on your free time.

Both: Trying to kill Nightmare and make-out.

Samara: Okay, How did you two meet?

Siegfried: Not so sure, all I can say that I was in a bar drinking myself silly and the next morning I found myself on a bed with Hilde.

Hilde: Since, that day, we were now forced to get married by law. If the princess losses her virginity to the first man, they most get married to him.

Samara: I see-, Why are you two even on this show?

Both: To Kill you.

Samara: Gee, thanks, What are you guys going to do with the prize money if you win it.

Hilde: To get a divorce.

Samara: Why?

Hilde: Because we don't love each other, he looks like a girl.

Siegfried: (angry) Oh yeah, you look like a guy with all that unattractive armor, Bitch.

Hilde: Why you German dwarf.

Hilde starts to beat him up and kicks him on his VERY fragile spot.

Siegfried: Ow. Mommy.

Samara: Okay now get the both out of here I need to interview the next couple.

Hilde: Fine, but I will not forget you! Farewell.

She starts to drag her husband by his locks of blond hair.

Samara: Well that was fun. The next idiots are Kilik and Xianghua. Come on in love birds!

Two young and attractive people walk in the room. One with a very cute jacket with a top and very cute shirts, she looked like a fairy. The other was a handsome man with brown hair and a very cool blue outfit. They both matched and they looked like gods.

Samara: Wow, this is my first time meeting you and I already am starting to like this pair.

Xianghua: Why thank you very much, I am very glad to hear that. Can we be friends

Samara: Sure!

Xianghua: Does that mean we already win!

Samara: Sadly no, If I had the power I will just give you the money but then my boss will fire me. Sorry.

Xianghua: Oh well, we can still be friends

Samara and Xianghua both give each other a group hug.

Samara: Okay let me ask who are you two and where do you both come from?

Xianghua: My name is Chai Xianghua and I'm from the Peking, Ming Empire this here is Kilik and he's from the Ling-Sheng Su Temple, Ming Empire.

Samara: So you both are from China, What do you two do on your free time?

Kilik: I purify evil swords and practice in the dojo.

Xianghua: And he tickles me and I make him laugh. We also go walking and visiting our sister's grave.

Samara: Wait, you two are related?!

Kilik: No, Xianghua's sister was like an older sister to me.

Xainghua: So we can be together.

Samara: Oh, that is a relive. How did you two meet.

Xianghua: Well, we first met in a harbor. Kilik was asking where he can find the bathroom. I told him where to go. Then this man comes and tries to make me sleep with him. I refuse but wouldn't take no for an answer. Then Kilik came and defending me from the scum. Then he asks to travel with him with Maxi. And now look at us. All love-dovey.

Samara: Aww, that is so SWEET!

They both squeal like little high school girls.

Samara: So, why are you two on this show.

Both: To get away from Amy Sorel.

Samara: (Oh no) Why?

Xianghua: because she is sending us death threats. Saying that she wants to kill me.

Kilik: Worried for my babe's safety, we have entered this show to stay as far from her as possible.

Samara: Too bad that won't be possible.

Both: (worried) Why

Samara: Because she is on this show with Maxi.

Both: Oh no.

Samara: Don't worry, I'll make sure nothing bad happens to you two, I promise.

Xianghua: Phew, thanks.

Samara: One last thing before you two go, what will you do with the money.

Kilik: We are going to get a restraining order on Amy and use it to buy a new home for my babe.

Xianghua: Oh…(she blushes)

Samara: Sigh, you are such a lucky woman, well you better go now. I need to interview the next pair.

Kilik swoops Xianghua in his muscular arms and walks out of the room.

Samara: So romantic. Next up is Talim and Yunsung.

No one comes in the room.

Samara: I said come on in.

No one comes.

Samara: You two better come in here or I will disqualify you both.

This time, Samara heard noises that sounded a lot like arguing and soon. After an angry Talim and a slapped Yunsung enter the room.

Samara: Wow, what happened to HIM.

Yunsung: She-

Talim: I slapped him!

Samara: Why?

Talim: I keep on telling him that Soul Edge is evil and he insults me for being crazy!

Yunsung: I just said that you listen to the wind!

Talim: And that I'm crazy!

He ignores her and fidgets with his white storm. Angry, she slaps him again.

Yunsung: Ow, babe, take it easy, It was not a big deal.

Talim: Yes it is!

Yunsung: Nah-ah.

They were at it for some time arguing until one wins.

Samara: (I better do something because this isn't getting them anywhere. How childish.) All RIGHT! Enough of this nonsense! Shut up and sit down or leave. Either works for me.

They both sat down but didn't face each other.

Samara: Finally, who are you two and where are you from.

Talim: Oh yes ( calming down with a smile and eyeing Samara) my name is Talim and I come from Village of the Wind Deity, Philippines.

Yunsung: (grumping under his breath) I'm Hong Yun-seong and come from Jirisan, Korea. You can call me Yunsung, it is short for Yun-seong.

Samara: Good, what do you two do on your free time.

Talim: I volunteer taking care of the forest and feeding hungry children.

Samara: Neat, and you.

Yunsung: I beat up bigger guys than me and take pictures of Talim in the shower when she is not looking. Wait, I mean- damn it- uh….

Everyone went silent. Talim begins to yell at him and he yells back. Samara tells them to shut up or she'll sent her tickle rabbits to chase after them.

Samara: OMGosh, how did you two even meet, you guys are WAY different to be together. At all.

Both: We meet in a village and began to search for Soul Edge

Talim: At first it was traveling, then one day, a butterfly flew away from my hand, like it was an omen, and landed on Yunsung's head.

Samara: (confused) how is that an omen, the butterfly just landed on his head, what is the big deal.

The pair shifted chairs.

Samara: Or is it?

Talim: In my home, if a butterfly happens to land on someone's head that came from the wind priestesses hands if it is a man, I must marry him under the village's law.

Samara: Well, no one was there to see the little PINK butterfly land on the stupid red head. You can pretend as if it never happened.

Talim: yes, but, my bird was there, and told everyone in the village and expect the both of us to get married.

They both looked very upset of their little dilemma.

Talim: So we had an option, to get married at this young age of mine or to a quest.

Samara: Gasp, traveling to Silent Hill!? (her eyes had shaped hearts in her little crazy pupils)

Talim: … Um- no.

Samara: (Her hearts in the eyes break in little shards) Dang it. Then what?

Talim: Well, your show, the elders gave me a mission, if I don't want to get married yet, I have to win the prize money, if I fail, I'll have to marry HIM!

Yunsung: (stops fidgeting with his sword) Hey, what is wrong with me? Don't I turn you on.

Talim: NO

Yunsung: Why!?

Talim: I don't want to marry an irresponsible jerk who gambles his life!

Talim crossed her hands and huffed. Samara was amazed at how this was turning out. She glanced at Yunsung, she was sure she saw a glimpse in his eyes that he looked very hurt. But, no, he had too much pride to apologize to Talim.

Samara: (sigh, teenagers!) Okay, I hope you two work it out. I don't think I'll ask the two questions since Talim already answered them. You two may leave to the other room.

Talim and Yunsung leave the room.

Samara: Man, for a second I thought they would-

She hears them fight and another loud slap from Talim is heard.

Samara: -fight, never mind. Next up is Hwang and seung Mina.

A woman and a man enter the room with gloom faces. The woman was wearing a top with a red ribbon fastening her shirt and wore a very long skirt opposing one of her creamy legs. And long braided hair with chocolate eyes and cherry lips. The man next to her looked a little like Yunsung; only that he looked more mature and more sexier in Samara's opinion. He was a bit tanned and wore a green torso with ocean blue pants.

Samara: Why hello. Say, are you Yunsung's older brother, because you look hotter than him.

Hwang: (glares at her) Don't you ever, never, compare me to that little twerp again or I'll-

Seung-Mina: Let it go Hwang, let it go.

Samara was actually afraid that he would kill her for comparing him to Yunsung, so she began with the questions. Yay, not.

Samara: Who are you two and where do you come from?

Seung-Mina: My name is Seong-Mina, but you may simply call me Mina. I come from Chili-San, Lee Dynasty

Hwang: My name is Hwang Seong-gyeong and come from Chili-San, Lee Dynasty Korea

Samara: Did you two live together?

Mina: Is that one of the questions?

Samara: No, but I am allowed to add some questions if I so desire to.

Mina: Yes.

Samara: In the same roof.

Mina: Yes…

Samara: Sigh, the same bed?

Mina: No!

Samara: Why?

Mina: Just cause my dad forced me to marry him doesn't mean I have to share the same bed with Hwang.

Samara: So you don't like to sleep with a guy?!

Mina: Of cour-(pauses) wait a minute. Where are you trying to get at?

Samara: Giggle, oh, nothing, nothing at all. (She has to be a lesbian, should I disqualify her, hmm, nah. Not yet) So what do you two do on your free time.

Mina: I knock the living day lights of the stupid students making fun of me and especially my little brother Yunsung! And training to improve my fighting skills.

Samara: He's your brother? How in Robbie the Rabbit's name are you two related?

Mina: Don't you mean God?

Samara: No, I never use God's name in vain. Never use it in any saying but in prayer. Or else your asking for it.

Mina: Oh, okay, (asking for what?) Not really, we grown together that he is like a younger brother to me. He reminds me of my younger-(she begins to cry) Oh, Ryu, why did you have to die, why you too mom, Waaaah.

Mina cries for such a long time and Hwang had to embrace her in a hug to try to comfort her for one full hour. Samara felt sorry for her loss, but they had to get a move on. They wasted an hour. She's not the only one here who lost someone, who the heck does she think she is, Hilary Clinton?

Samara: Okay, that is enough crying, damn, and you Hwang, what do you do on your free time?

Hwang: Oh, I go to the army and kill many evil pirates, I hate pirates. Are you a pirate? (he draws his blade from his belt and the tip is over Samara's nose) because if you are…

Samara: Gulp. O-of course not you sack of stupid. Do I look like a pirate to You?

Hwang: (moves his blade away from her face) No, but Maxi doesn't look like one.

Samara: Well, I am NOT! How did you two meet?

Both: Fifteen years ago.

Mina: I was 8 and he was 17 years old.

Samara: (Her mouth is open) How old are you two now.

Hwang: She's 23 and I'm 32. If you were wondering if we are legal. Well; we are now.

Samara: Okay. Why are you two here on this show? Don't seem to be very glad to be here. Which is very, very bad!

Mina: Father said that if we enter this show, we can get to know each other a bit more.

Hwang: And of course, try to love each other.

Samara: Wow, and how is that working out?

Both: Not so good.

Samara: May I ask why?

Mina: We are so different. I want to travel and he won't let me.

Hwang: That is because you can't handle yourself. (he said it as a matter of fact)

Mina: Why you-

Samara: Are you saying that woman are weak!

Hwang: Well, that depends.

Both woman call him a jerk and get back to the conversation.

Samara: Last question. What are you planning to do with the money?

Mina: I don't know.

Hwang: Me neither.

Samara: Okay, bye.

They leave and Samara calls in… Ivy and… well.

Samara: …Voldo.

Samara was shocked that she was sure that her eyes were going to rip out of her face. They were both wearing very tight bondage. The woman Ivy was wearing so less clothing that it was amazing that her boobs were able to stay held up. And her ass was showing. Vodlo was the most creepiest sight in the room. He was also showing his ass and OMGosh, was that his package? Eww.

Samara: I don't know what to say.

Voldo: Hissssss ( that we are attractive?)

Ivy: Okay little twerp, I'm going to be brief. First of all, don't you think you can lay you little hands on my man. He's mine, all mine. If you touch Him I'll make you squirm you filthy worm.

Samara: Oh, wow, like if I'll touch him. Who are you both and where do you two come from?

Ivy: My real name is Isabella Valentine. But I hate that name, so call me Ivy, If you use my real name, then I will kill you. I come from London, England. This is Voldo and he is from Palermo, Italy. Where we both had our first honey moon

Voldo and Ivy are getting horny. Which is starting to scare Samara.

Samara: Okay, I absolutely do not want to know the details. What do you two do on your free time?

Ivy: Oh, when I don't do experiments and when he takes a break from taking care of his masters tomb, we both undress and-

Samara: Okay, don't want to know anymore. I already know where you two meet so why are you guys here.

Voldo: Kakaka.

Samara: What?

Ivy: To sell these pictures and show them to everyone.

Samara saw the pictures and screamed. You can guess what were on those pictures.

Samara: My Gosh. Why would you show everyone on this show these pictures.

Ivy: To let everyone know that are love is more powerful than death. Do you hear me death? More powerful

Death: (From behind Samara) Yeah, yeah, heard that many times before. It's starting to get old.

Samara: Eck, why are you here?

Death: trying to find this guy Zasalamel. I'm going to complain why he keeps on cheating on me. Where is he?

Samara: In that room.

Death: Thanks.

He enters the room.

Samara: That was something you don't see every day. What are you planning to do with the money.

Voldo and Ivy: To buy more bondage for little people who need them and FREE INFECTIONS.

Samara: … are you two …high? Don't you mean injections?

Voldo and Ivy: Gasp, no!

Samara: Leave.

They both leave with there hands touching each others asses.

Samara: I hate that couple. Next is Taki and Mitsurugi.

A ninja with tight clothes that show her nipples and a man with a long beard and long spiky hair enter the room.

Samara: Wow, a samurai and a ninja. What a cool couple.

They both shrug.

Samara: So, who are you two and where do you come from?

Mitsurugi: My name is HeishiroMitsurugi, and come from Bizen, Japan.

Taki: Taki, from Fu-Ma No Sato, Japan.

Samara: What do you two do on your free time?

Taki: I purify evil demons.

Mitsurugi: I go around trying to find stronger people than me, sigh, sadly the are all weak. Not much of a challenge.

Samara: So far so good. How did you two meet.

Taki: None of your business.

Mitsurugi: Yeah.

Samara: Boring, why are you two here?

Both: To get the Money, duh!

Samara: What will you do with it?

Taki: That is also none of your business either.

Mitsurugi: Yeah.

They both stand up and leave.

Samara: What, how rude, they were not even told to leave, and they are so serious-minded. Well, it is time for Amy and Maxi to come on in.

Amy and Maxi come in. Amy who was really underage to be here were a gothic dress with red hair tied in curly pigtails. She had such pale skin and red eyes that she looked like a vampire. Maxi was Elvis Presley!?

Samara: Oh My Fucking Gosh! Elvis, is that really you, I listened to all your songs.

Maxi: I an not-

Samara: (interrupts) Can I please have your autograph! I'm your number one-

Maxi: (gets mad and loses control) I told you that I am not that freaking idiot Elvis for the 1000th Time! Even more! Will you people stop comparing me to him! Shesh.

Samara: (glares at him) You are not Elvis?

Maxi: NO, and to make it clear, I am more sexy than-

Samara in rage throws her notebook straight at his face. Leaving a very painful mark.

Samara: I hate you! I am going to give you hard time in this show!

She glares at Amy and are ordered to sit down or else.

Samara: Who are you two and where are you from (points at Maxi with rage) you start.

Maxi: (scared and sweating) Um… I'm Maxi… and uh… come from the Ryukyu Kingdom, Shuri and whatever I said to upset you I am very sorry…

Samara leans on him to give him an even more dangerous glare then before.

Samara: I like you to suck your apology out of my 'bleep'!

His face turned white as a ghost.

Samara: what about you, Amy.

Amy: Amy Sorel, come from French Empire, Rouen.

Samara: What do you two do on your free time, Maxi.

Maxi: Gulp, I sing.

Samara: Sing what?

Maxi: Dandy of the Sea…

She glare at him.

Maxi: Really, it is true, swear to God.

Samara slaps him

Maxi: (whimpers) what did I do.

Samara: Never, ever, use the name of God in vain.

Maxi shakes his head and says 'yeas ma'am'

Amy: (laughing at Maxi's suffering) I drink blood from humans and love to read books on how to kill Xianghua 1000 ways.

Samara: Why do you want to kill her!?

Amy: Because, if I kill her, then Kilik will be mine. All MINE! Bwahahahahaha!

Samara: Gasp, As your slave?

Amy: No as my husband.

Samara: but… your just a

Amy: That does not MATTER. In 5 years. He'll be 28 and I will be 18. He will still be mine. I don't know what he sees in that girl. _Xianghua_, her very name gives me disgust. She's not that pretty!

Samara: (I am going to try to keep her away from them as far as possible from them) How did you two meet?

Amy: well, when I was angrily spying on Xianghua sleeping and cuddling with MY Kilik. Maxi was on the same tree that I was using to spy. It turns out that he is in love with Xianghua too. So we had a plan to be together to try to split them up. He will have that annoying Chinese girl Xianghua and I'll finally have My Kilik

Samara was quite for a long time. She snapped and faced Amy with determination.

Samara: You're thirteen for Pete's sake. You love him, but he WILL NEVER love you because you are a kid!

Amy: He does LOVE me. See, I have clips here to prove it.

Amy pulled out a little toy TV. Oh, a tiny TV. The clips began to play. Amy is shown in a green meadow running to a Kilik ready to hug each other when they collide. However, Kilik ran past Amy and she fell in a push. She got up and saw that he was running to his sweet Xianghua. Amy's face turns bright red of sheer anger. The second clip shows that she says hi to Kilik and he mindlessly waves back. He turns his head from Amy and there is text writhen behind his back, "violets are blue and roses are red. What else is beautiful? Xianghua!" A little picture of them is shown under the text kissing. Making Amy pull on her hair and screeches breaking windows. The last clip shows that Amy places a bomb in Xianghua's lunch bag and hides behind a bush, laughing. That was until she notices too late that there were two identical lunch bags. Xianghua takes the "empty" bag and the big purple dinosaur Barney takes the infected. A few seconds later. It explodes killing Barney.

Maxi and Samara were both silent, lost in words, until the Elvis impostor final broke the silence.

Maxi: Hey, how can I have Xianghua if you are planning to kill her?

Amy: Shut up, dog! (she pulls on his leash when Samara finally noticed it for the first time).

Samara: Okay Amy, you really have serious issues. I think you two are on this show to split them up, correct?

They both shake their heads in agreement.

Samara: Oh, boy, what an issue. What are you two planning to do with the money?

Amy: To have plastic surgery to look like Xianghua, that way, Kilik will HAVE to love me! No, he MUST!

Samara: … hope you guys fail in this show and will do everything in my power to do so. Bye.

Amy glares at Samara and they leave.

Samara: (she is either nuts or has already lost her mind for a foolish crush.) Next is Sophitia and Rothion and the only pair that are married. Come on in.

Samara was expecting them to look ugly and old. But oh boy, was she so wrong. Sophitia looked like an Angel. She has long blond hair and green spring eyes the seem to look inside the depths of your soul. She wore a silky garment with various jewelry. Her husband was also very attractive as well. He had sturdy shoulders with wavy blond hair. He was tall and muscular and his eyes were a very hot ocean blue.

Samara: (her jaw was hanging Open) I-I an Sa-Samara and I want t-to. My Gosh. You two look so beautiful. Are you even both human?

Sophitia: Why, thank you for your complement, but we are just run-of-the mill-people. We are nothing of that level.

Samara: Shut up. You guys look so hot. Don't even dare say that. Now sit down, I'm curious about you two.

The married sit down.

Samara: Who are you two and where are you from?

Sophitia: We are Rothion and Sophitia Alexandra and we both come from Athens, Ottomon Empire

Samara: Cool, Athens, What do you two do on your free time.

Rothion: I'm a blacksmith and I take care of the kids while Sophitia is out trying to destroy that blasted emo sword.

Samara: Emo?

Sophitia: Now honey, he is only saying that because that impure sword corrupted Our daughter's mind and made her all Goth.

Samara: Oh dear, you have two children, who is taking care of them?

Rothion: My brother-in-law. I wonder how he's holding up.

At the Alexandra household. Lucius (the brother of Sophitia and brother-in-law of Rothion and the son of the couple, Patroklos, are hiding from Pyrrha.)

Patroklos: Uncle Lucius.

Lucius: Yes?

Patroklos: Are we safe here?

Lucius: Of course! There is no way she can find us.

Pyrrha: There you two are 'giggle' why are you two hiding behind the TV?

They both turned around to see that Pyrrha was holding a creepy doll and had a crocked smile on her freaky face. They both screamed in terror.

Rothion: I'm sure they're okay. What could happen.

Sophitia: Yeah, but I still think that we should have left them with my parents or yours.

Samara: How did you two meet.

Sophitia and Rothion took like 124 minutes discussing on how they meet in a bakery of Sophitia's and how they fell in love little by little.

Sophitia: Sigh, those were wonderful times. Don't you think so Rothion?

Rothion: Yeah, when we swam in the hot spring.

Sophitia: Camping.

Rothion: Star gazing.

Sophitia: Telling stories.

They both exchanged warm laughs and gave each other a kiss. Samara felt so happy for them. She wonders if this is how Kilik and Xianghua will end up like. Will she end up like that? How knows, Samara isn't ready yet.

Samara: How sweet, I'm sure many married people envy you. Why are you fine couple here on this show?

Sophitia: We are her for one main reason. Cassandra.

Samara: Why?

Sophitia: because, I do not like the man that she is going out with, he is so dangerous. When my husband asked him where he's from. He said something so what to you say, abnormal.

Samara: What?

Rothion: He said to me "you better suck back those words or I'll make you suck something if that is what you are asking for."

Samara: Oh, oh, okay. What are you planning to do with the money?

Both: To find a cure for our daughter.

Samara: How is she sick?

Sophitia: Look at these drawings.

Samara sees the drawings. Pyrrha was a very detailed artist. She drew everyone in the Soul Calibur characters as chibis. All dead on the floor with there necks slashed and there hearts are thorn out. While in the center death was standing in the center saying "LOL".

Samara: Hmmm, I will say one thing. Your daughter is very talented.

Sophitia: Yes, Oh ( she starts to cry) Why did my daughter get possessed by the devil!?

She rans out of the room crying. Her faithful husband chasing after her.

Samara: Poor parents, I'd be said if that happened to my children. Which I don't have any, thank goodness. Next up is Setsuka and Arthur.

The couple enter the room. Setsuka has blond gorgeous hair, much more fair of Siegfried's. She wears a very beautiful kimono with flower designs that blend with the colors. Arthur seems to be a little older than her but not that old. He also has blond hair and a beer, but a bit more spiky, he looks like an American version of Mitsurugi.

Samara: Why hello there. Another ninja and samurai pair, only American versions. He he he.

Setsuka: Get on with the questions or I'll cut you down with my blade!

Samara: Okay, shesh, who are you tow and where are you from.

Setsuka: What question is that?! Isn't my name enough for you (she draws her blade and points it to her neck) Do you want me to end you here and now!

Samara: (panicking) .ok, Okay, your name is just fine! Know please move that blade away from me.

Setsuka hesitates because she really wants to kill this stupid American blond. She did, however, withdrew her blade from Samara's fatal part.

Arthur: (shocked at what just happened) well, My name is Arthur and I was born in Southampton, England

Samara: Okay, at least you didn't attack me.

Setsuka say another word about me and I'll slash that sorry head of your's!

Arthur: Oh, please forgive my wife, she didn't have her jolly pills this morning.

Samara: (I feel like this woman has something against me.) What do you two do on your free time?

Arthur: Oh, I take care of my baby daughter and play baby games with her. See, I have a photo of her, isn't she cute.

Samara sees the photo.

Samara: Ah, she is so adorable! But she doesn't look like-

Setsuka: She is my step daughter, shut up and move on with the next question.

Samara: But, you didn't tell me wha-

Setsuka: MOVE ON WITH THE QUESTION!

Samara: Alright, down lose your feathers, How did you two meet.

Arthur: We meet on a bridge, I was drunk because my wife died. Then she came and helped me back home. Setsuka looks a lot like my wife and she need someone to be with so I asked her to marry me.

Samara: That is nice, do you love your step daughter Setsuka?

Setsuka: As long as she doesn't cry, Yes.

Samara: why are you two here?

Setsuka: To kill Mitsurugi.

Arthur: I was forced to go with her.

Samara: What about the baby.

Arthur: I left her with three shop keepers, I trust them, saying that'll take very good care of her as long if I find them someone to go out with after this.

Samara: What are you guys planning to do with the money?

Arthur: To give it to my precious daughter when she is old enough to go to school.

Samara: That's so cool. You may both leave now.

Arthur stands up and leaves. However, Setsuka leans and whispers something to Samara.

Setsuka: You will get what's coming to you when you let your guard down. Fear for I AM a demon.

She stands up and withdraws leaving Samara with a warning.

Samara: (I feel like she came here to kill me besides Mitsurugi) Next is Astaroth and Ashlotte. Please come on in.

The pair came in. They surely don't look life ordinary folk you'd see every day. Astaroth was all rocky with lava in between his muscles. The lass with him, in the other hand was so robotic. With long beautiful hair.

Samara: Okay hello and take a set.

They both sit down. Ashlotte had a blank face and Astaroth was ogling her.

Samara: Okay, who are you two and where do you guys come from?

Astaroth: (Drooling at the sight of Ashlotte for a few more seconds and stares at Samara) Huh? What did you say? Didn't hear you.

Samara: Sigh, who are you two and where do you guys come from?

Astaroth: Oh, ah, Gee, don't remember.

Samara: Not ever you name?!

Astaroth: Oh, I'm Astaroth, duh.

Samara: Where do you live?

Astaroth: Pony land!

Samara: What?!

Astaroth: I live in pony land, a magical place with crayons and ponies!

Samara: …how old are you?

Astaroth: (grins in a stupid smile) 7!

Samara: Are you serious?

Astaroth: Uh, what was the question?

Samara: (irritated) Never mind. You.

The doll slowly turns her head to Samara's location.

Ashlotte: My name is Ashlotte Maedel, I'm not in liberty to discuss my location.

Samara: Why?

Ashlotte: Because I can't remember.

Samara: (Oh my gosh, these idiots don't even know where they were born but their names, especially this Astaroth.) What do you do on your free time?

Astaroth: Uh, I like to draw pictures of little rainbows over the sunshine and singing teletubbies. Oh, and I kill people when they give me time out.

Samara: (hmmm) And you Ashlotte.

Ashlotte: I follow orders.

Samara: From who?

Ashlotte: From him.

She points to Astaroth. Who is poking his nose and then licking his own, well you know.

Samara: Aww, Gross! How did you two meet.

Astaroth: (stops eating the stuff from his nose.) Oh, when I was traveling, trying to kill the white giant. She came out of no where and said she was going to kill me. We were fighting until a big comet hit Ashlotte's head. The size of a basket ball.

Samara: And?

Astaroth: And she forgot what she had to do. So 'hehe' I ordered her to be my girlfriend.

Samara: Oh, so she doesn't' really like you.

Astaroth: (angry) Okay, she may be a robot, but that does not mean I'm not attractive.

Samara: Well, she is a robot, and robots don't have feelings. So she will never EVER love you.

Astaroth begins to cry like a baby.

Samara: Oh, snap out of it already! Why are you two here on this show?

Astaroth: (finally pulls himself together) To get the money so she can be a really girl.

Samara: Like in _Pinocchio?_

Astaroth: Yes (grins in a very creepy smile)

Samara: (rolls her eyes) You may leave. Not a pleasure to have met you.

Astaroth stands up and walks away but Ashlotte remains on the chair staring at Samara with no emotion. Then Astaroth comes back and drags the doll with him to the room.

Samara: That was plain stupid. Next is Raphael and Sheherazade.

Two blonds enter the room. The woman looks like an elf and has purple eyes and the man wore a purple jacket and covered most of his face with an opera mask. He looked so gay. In Samara's and Redbunnie7's point of view. Samara also noticed that they were both masters of the rapier.

Samara: Okay lets make this quick. Who are you two and where do you come from?

Raphael: Raphael Sorel and born in the French Empire, Rouen.

Sheherazade: My name is just Sheherazade and come from a Reclused Village

Samara: So you are anti-social with people.

Sheherazade: No, but my elders are so stupid that they force me to stay, which I didn't.

Samara: Good for you, I'm proud of you!

Sheherazade: Why thank you. (blush)

Samara: what to you guys do on your free time.

Raphael: I suck the lives of innocent children, except my foster daughter Amy.

Sheherazade: I read stories and eat bunnies.

Samara: Gasp, you EAT bunnies!?

Sheherazade: Well duh. If I hadn't I wouldn't-

She was cut abruptly short when Samara tackled her and calling her a 'bunny killer'. They had a very long cat fight while Raphael was tapping his tips of his fingers together mumbling 'excellent' watching the beautiful flowers fighting like dandelions.

Samara: (she slow gets up bruised all over her body and glares at Sheherazade) You deserved that. Bunnie Killer!

Sheherazade: ( getting back to her seat slowly and also glares at her) Your going to pay for that. Fool!

Raphael: Girls, girls, there are better ways to settle this then argue.

Samara: What?

Raphael: Fighting in the pool with only your bikinis while I video tape.

They both glare at him.

Raphael: What? I think it is a splendid idea.

Samara: Shut up, how did you two meet?

Sheherazade: I cast a spell on him at French and made him fall in love with me because he looks a lot like my previous lover how is long dead.

Samara: How old are you.

Sheherazade: You?

Samara: 18.

Sheherazade: shut up.

Samara: (confused) okay. How did it have to work.

Sheherazade: I had to make him fall in love with me only one way. I had to mix one of my hairs in a venomous liquid and splashed it over his face.

Raphael: That is why I'm wearing a mask.

Samara: Didn't it hurt.

Raphael: No, I'm a man.

Sheherazade: Yeah right, like crying like a 5 year old rolling around in the grass does make you look like a man. The way how I like them, girly.

Raphael: (acting all girly) Oh my, I like how you talk to me that way, it gives me the chills.

Samara: That is just wrong what you just said. Why are you two on this show?

Raphael: To make sure that man Maxi doesn't lay a single hand on my daughter and to ask if you can disqualify her.

Samara: Can't do.

Raphael: Why, she is only a minor!

Samara: yeah, but there is no rule about age or anything, so your daughter counts.

Raphael: (in agony) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Samara: What will you two do with the money?

Raphael: to get my daughter a psychologist. She shouldn't be dating. Where have I gone wrong?

He starts to cry like a Mary Sue and runs back to the room yelling Amy. While the elf gives chase.

Samara: That was fun. Next is Cassandra and Starkiller (AKA Vader's Apprentice.)

A young woman that has a few similarities to Sophitia enter the room with her boyfriend who looks very dangerous enters the room.

Samara: Sit down. Tell me who are you two and where are you from?

Cassandra: I'm Cassandra Alexandra and from Athens, Ottoman Empire.

Starkiller: Starkiller, that is all.

Samara: (hmm, he is secretive, but hot.) What do you two do on your free time?

Cassandra: I uh, can't tell you.

Samara: Why?

Cassandra: Because-( Starkiller will kill me if I tell you) just cause I say so.

Samara: Hmm, looks like you are hiding something. What about you Starkiller.

Starkiller: Oh, many things (like forcing Cassandra in bed with me).

Samara: Well that doesn't tell me much but oh well. How did you two meet.

Cassandra: Well- (I was in jail and wanted to get out, but they wouldn't let me, then he came and offered to help me as long as I did him favors. Now, If I displease him he'll threaten me) -on a blind date.

Samara: (senses that she is lying) Are you telling me the truth?

Cassandra: Why (she glances at Starkiller, who gives her a threatening look) YES! Why wouldn't I! Your crazy! Move on with the next question!

Samara: Okay! Why are you here?

Cassandra: To say good-bye to Sophitia.

Samara: What did you say?

Cassandra realized she said something she should've been quiet. She knew that Starkiller told her that he wants her to come with him in space to live together, if not, he'll kill her family.

Cassandra: because (trying to come up with a lie) because I'm going to leave the house and go back to our parents house.

Samara: Really?

Cassandra: Yeah. Really.

There was a long awkward silence, Starkiller leans his mouth to Cassandra's ear and whispers something to her that made her skin pale. Samara doesn't seem to notice.

Samara: What are you planning to do with the money?

Cassandra: Don't know (Help Me!)

Samara: Okay you may both lea-

Starkiller throws Cassandra over his right shoulder and runs to the next room.

Samara: What a very suspicious couple. Nest up is-

Samara is tapped by the shoulder of the camera man.

Samara: What?

He gives Samara a letter. Samara opens the letter and reads it.

Dear Ms. Cleaver: to let you know, we will not enter that room because it's a waste of our voices to get interviewed by the likes of you. If you have something against it, I'll kill you.

Sincerely, Zasalamel and Angol Fear.

Samara is quiet for a long time.

Samara: Everyone is out to kill me. Oh well, at least it's one pair short. Next is Algol and Kimikirimusi.

Two demons enter the room, One was huge man with ghostly white hair with a scar on his left face, Samara thought he was as creepy as the teletubbies, but attractive. His woman was a very attractive red head with a very cute kimono with flame designs and a big huge purple bow.

Samara: You people are such sexy demons.

Algol: Why, thank you for your compliment, from such an attractive lady as yourself.

Samara: (Blushes) Oh my, what a gentlemen. Who are you two and where do you come from?

Algol: Algol, the king of an Ancient dynasty that its name is fucked meaningless to me.

Kimikirimusi: My name is Kimikirimusi and come from Kyoto, Japan.

Samara: Cool. What do you two do on you free time?

Algol: I write poems for my lovely now than trying to take over the world.

Samara: Really? Lets hear one. Please. (her eyes turn all baby like)

Algol: Alright. Here goes. (clears throat)

_My beautiful Kimikirimusi, you shine like the sun._

_Smell like a warming bun._

_You are as fair as a flower,_

_But flow with intense power._

_I'd do anything in the world to see you smile,_

_Even to kill Siegfried, Nightmare, and all those annoying idiots, no matter the mile._

Kimikirimusi: Oh, honey, you shouldn't have.

They both kiss tenderly in the mouth.

Samara: (most of it was good, except the last part. I would understand why he would want to kill Siegfried and Nightmare, ESPECIALLY Siegfried, but why everyone else?) How did you two meet?

Kimikirimusi: (they stop kissing) Well it is a long story, I was walking in the meadow trying to find someone to eat, I think it was Siegfried I wanted to kill and devour, but couldn't find him, then, I found Algol in the ground all weak from not eating any food for months. So I offered him some of my chicken legs that used to belong to a lizard man and carried him to my hut. He stayed there for a bit and talked because it was a long time I haven't seen anyone like me. Then, we started to show our love for each other. He was beating up Siegfried, giving me poisonous flowers, stolen kimonos from perverts, and…

Samara: And?

Kimikirimusi: Well, 'giggle'.

Samara: Okay, don't want to know, why are you two here on this show?

Both: YOU.

Samara: What?!

Kimikirimusi: We want you to be our daughter!

Samara: Why?!

Algol: Because you look a lot like my own mother and we want to adopt you in our little family.

Samara: B-but, I'm 18!

Algol: But you're an orphan.

Samara: But…

They both hug Samara.

Kimikirimusi: Don't worry, if you don't eat whites, we'll feed you Asians.

Samara: (oh wow! Like I'd want that!) Okay. You guys may only adopt me if you win this show.

Both: Okay, dearest. (they both let her go)

Samara: Now, what will you guys plan to do with the money?

Kimikirimusi: Whatever our future to be daughter wants.

Samara: (Oh, damn, they really are dead serious.) you guys may leave now.

They both stand up and skip happily to the room.

Samara: Oh my holy father, please let them lose, amen. Next is Greed and Miser.

Two ugly people enter the room. One is a very old geezer with yellow death and a jacket that is open showing his boney chest and wears baggy pants. The woman has black hair covering her eyes with a green torso and a blue tied skirt.

Samara: Who are you two and where do you come from?

Both: Our names is enough information for you!

Samara: Okay, what do you tow do on ;your free time?

Both: Kill people, steal money, and watch teletubbies.

Samara: Okay, how did you two meet.

Both: In our job, duh.

Samara: Why are you two here on this show?

Miser: To win the money for our greedy needs.

Samara: What will you do with it.

Greed: None of your business, fool!

Samara: (rolls eyes) You may both leave then.

They both got up and left.

Samara: What rude people, last is… that psycho with my blushed rabbit. You better come in here.

An insane girl leaps into the room. She wears a scanty outfit that makes her look like a clown and has uneven ponytails. She has the most ugliest shade of purple eyes that Samara has ever seen. Much worse than of Sheherazade's. And on her right hand was, HER stuffed rabbit that belongs to Samara.

Stupid Tira: Oh, it is so goody to be here! Oh, you look funny, you shouldn't be a host!

Samara: You shouldn't be here with my rabbit.

Psycho Tira: Well, he's mine now.

Samara: (I'm going to kick her out of this show when I'm done asking her the questions) Who are YOU and where are you from?

Stupid Tira: My name is T-I-R-A. I come from New York City.

Samara: I don't think so.

Psycho Tira: Well, now I am, Shut up!

Samara: What do you do in your pathetic excuse in life?

Stupid Tira: I kill people and threaten them!

Samara: …Why do you have my toy?

Stupid Tira: He is not a toy, he is my lover. This is the tale on how we meet. (The room darkens and stage lights beam on her) it was a week ago, when I was leaping roof to roof to try to find someone to kill, something caught my eye. There he was, sitting in a balcony staring at my graceful leaps, that is when I realized we were meant for each other. I just had to have his body touching my body! I leaped in the room and took him with me. Now, he is mine, ALL mine! Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!

Samara: (this woman should seriously get a boyfriend) Why are you even here?

Stupid Tira: To get money.

Samara: What would've done with the money if you ever did obtain it?

Stupid Tira: Well, I'd (pauses) -hold on a minute! 'would've?'

Samara: Yes.

Psycho Tira: What does that mean!?

Samara: Tira, you lost already, actually, you never did, you don't have a boyfriend and MY rabbit is ABSOULETY not YOUR man!

Psycho Tira: W-what!? He is alive and I can PROVE it!

Samara: (crosses hands) really? Prove it.

Psycho Tira: I Will!

She stares at Robbie.

Stupid Tira: Oh Robbie, tell me how much you love me.

Robbie the Rabbit:…

Stupid Tira: Don't be shy, you can do it.

Robbie the Rabbit: …

Stupid Tira: Um, Robbie?

Robbie was quiet all these ten minutes and NEVER said a word.

Psycho Tira: (starts shaking him) Talk! Please don't do this to me! Say something to me bitch!

Samara: That is quite enough! Give him here NOW!

They both start to pull on the poor little rabbit.

Psycho Tira: No, he is mine! Not YOURS!

Samara: If you want one, go BUY one!

Psycho Tira: Never!

Samara: Why!?

Psycho Tira: Because I only want HIM!

They pull and pull until 'rip'. The rabbit is thorn and cotton spills out of it.

Samara: Robbie! NO!

She starts crying for his 'death' while Tira slowly gets up with her weapon in hand.

Psycho Tira: You BASTARD. Your not going to get away with this!

Tira jumps to Samara to take away her life, but… BAMM. Tira is shot and lays on the floor motionless.

Samara: (puts down her pistol.) Serves you right!

Ten hours later. Samara enters the room with all the pairs asleep.

Samara: Wake up everyone! I have a drink for some of you to drink.

Everyone woke up and some glared at Samara.

Setsuka: How long was that interview with Tira? It couldn't have been so long to ask her simple questions and for her to answer simple questions.

Yunsung: Yeah! It was a night mare sitting next to Voldo.

Voldo: Hisss? ( What did I do?)

Samara: Yeah, yeah. But Tira was disqualified because she didn't have a living boyfriend. She can't compete without one. Oh, and she tried to kill me, but not much to deal with.

Samara smiles at Amy, Raphael, Astaroth, Algol, and Kimikirimusi.

Samara: I have a treat for the five of you. Come and try it.

They got up and headed to her. Each given one glass of some sort of red liquid.

Kimikirimusi: Mmmm, This is very good.

Amy: It is okay. Tastes like blood, (ps, she is a vampire.)

Astaroth: What drink is this made of?

Samara: Tira.

Raphael: (shocked) really, well then, we should get more of this 'Tira'. It has a divine flavor. (also a vampire)

Algol: Mmmm, my future daughter knows how to make a great whine from a psycho.

Everyone else, however, is stunned.

Sophitia: Why would you do that to that girl, she did nothing to you.

Samara: No, but she was about to. Besides, she did threaten that she was going to kill your daughter, killed members of Yoshimitsu's clan, was using Maxi and Astaroth against each other, and was plain evil. It was for the best.

Everyone couldn't disagree, she DID have a point.

Sophitia: Fine, maybe she will have a better afterlife…

Samara: You are just too religious, I'll soon give you all the numbers of your rooms.

She stares at the screen of the camera.

Samara: Well people, that is one down and 15 to go, join me next time and good night.

Author's note: Yeah, yeah. I know I already got rid of one of the pairings. Tira can't really compete without someone alive, no matter if Robbie wasn't a human he had to be alive or to move at least. As you have probably guessed, I don't like Siegfried. Never nor will I ever be a big fan of him nor Tira. And yes, the host is allowed to kill the player. Please review. Oh, one more thing, if you review you can vote for one of your favorite pairings to gain 5 points but only one. If you vote for them, the more chances that they will remain in the story. I may have to turn this story from 't' to 'm' rated in the next chapter. Goodnight. Do not own Barney and friends by the way.


	3. Samara's Day

Disclaimer: Don't own Soul Calibur nor it's characters, they belong to Namco. Nor do I own Silent Hill and Its characters. There will be like only one or two but that is it. Also, I do not own Star Wars.

Samara: Why, hello everyone, last time, I interviewed each and every single couple for the exception of Zasalamel and Angol Fear. Today, the couples are going to test their loyalty to each other in a room with a lie detector attached to their wrist and can ask each other any questions if they want to. This time, however, I can't keep track on everyone so I got myself two people to help me out. Luna from Soul Calibur 3 and Heather Mason from Silent Hill 3. Come on in.

Luna, a very attractive girl with pink hair and green eyes enters the room, along with Heather whom has blond hair and hazel eyes. Wearing the most adorable skirt ever.

Samara: Oh my gosh, that is the most adorable skirt I seen. It's to die for!

Heather: Thanks, bought it at Old Navy.

Samara: How are you Luna, it's been since kindergarten that we seen each other.

Luna: Great! I like going to school, you can pull pranks on the teachers all day long!

Samara: Really, remember when we used to pull a prank together when we were 5.

Luna: Yeah, like when we filled a pocket of vomit from Germy's and spilled it on the Principal when he was doing that really boring speech on how they would raise the prize of the lunch.

Samara: Or like when we glued picture in the grade book of women in the PE teacher's grade book and got fired.

Luna: Which where his girlfriends. Yeah… they were good old times.

Samara: Maybe when we are done, we can pool a prank on Maxi.

Luna: Like what! (she was getting mischievous)

Samara: You'll see, hey Heather! Do you want to join?

Heather: Nah, you guys can do what you want.

Samara: Oh well, suit yourself. (looks at the camera man.) All right viewers. We'll be dealing with five couple each. Luna will deal with Cassandra/Starkiller, Algol/Kimi, Hwang/Mina, Maxi/Amy, and Taki/Mitsurugi. Heather will deal with Ivy/Voldo, Kilik/Xianghua, Sheherazade/Raphael, Sophitia/Rothion, and Astaroth/Ashlotte. I'll be dealing with Talim/Yunsung, Miser/Greed, Zasalamel/Angol Fear, Setsuka/Arthur, and Hilde/Siegfried. Let the test begin!

Samara's day.

Samara was sitting on a pink chair; facing Talim and Yunsung taking a long time to say something to each other since ten minutes ago.

Samara: What is taking you two so long? Say something already!

Yunsung: Like what?!

Samara: I don't know! Let's say, her favorite color!

Yunsung: Fine! Yo, Talim. What is your fav color?

Talim: Green.

The lie detector shows she is telling the truth. Talim takes a moment and asks him a question.

Talim: Yunsung, why is it that you are after the sword? Why don't you listen to my warnings?

Yunsung: (makes a huge groan) Because, to protect my amusement park!

Talim: … What!?

Yunsung: My amusement park! If those stupid Japanese people come to our country, I'll be able to stop them and kick their sorry asses that they ever messed with MY amusement park!

Talim: But, you don't have an amusement park at all.

Yunsung: I have to built it first!

Samara: He's telling the truth. (this guy most be the most stupidest person of all time. An amusement park?)

Talim: Sigh, fine, what is your next question?

Yunsung: Ummm, oh, do you really listen to the wind?

Talim: Yes.

Yunsung: Talk to it?

Talim: Yes Yunsung! I would never lie!

The lie detector glows green, meaning she is telling the truth.

Talim: I have this other question for YOU. Did you sleep with other girls before you meet me?

Yunsung: …

Talim: Well?

Yunsung: Well…um, maybe a few… when you mean sleep with… you mean just to sleep in the bed with? Right?

Talim: You know perfectly well what I mean.

Yunsung: No, never, I would never have 'bleep' with another girl.

The lie detector glows red, he IS fibbing.

Talim: Why you… this is a huge reason to why I should not MARRY you! (she crosses her hands and glares at him)

Yunsung: Oh yeah, do you really NOT want to marry me!?

Talim: What?

Yunsung: You heard me! Answer my freaking question!

Talim: …

Yunsung: Well!

Talim: I don't have to answer a pervert!

Yunsung gets mad and stands up from his sit and walks over to Talim.

Yunsung: You want to know something, sweet face? I bet you don't want to answer me because you can't lie and deep down you do want to marry me, but afraid to admit it!

Talim just stares at him and Yunsung leans in a little more closer to her. Their noses almost touching each other.

Yunsung: Are you not going to answer me or do I have to ask you another question?

Talim: …

Yunsung: Fine, do I really not turn YOU on or… do I?

Talim: …

Yunsung: Well?

Samara: (looking at them both with worried eyes) Hmmm, I have a really bad feeling about this.

Yunsung: (he grabs hold on to her face to make her look at him) Well? Answer ME!

Talim: Please don't ask me that.

Samara is soon surprised that he leaned forward and gave Talim a wet kiss on her soft pink lips.

Samara: OH MY GOSH! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! He kissed her.

Talim: I-I I…

Yunsung: Well?

Talim: Y-yun- Yunsung, I-

Yunsung and Samara: YESSSS?

Talim: (gets mad) You jerk!

She slaps him on the face and leaves the room crying.

Yunsung:… just great! Nice one Yunsung! I am SO smooth.

He runs after her.

Samara: Oh boy, he really is a lady's man.

After the little accident. Angol Fear and Zasalamel enter the room. This is the first time Samara did meet them in person and wow, what people. They both seem African American and wear white clothing. They also had weapons similar to a staff. Zasalamel looked like the creepiest of the two. They both strap each others wrist and glance at each other.

Zasalamel: So… how old are you again?

Angol Fear: Grrr, how can you keep on forgetting? 14800 years old, dammit!

She is telling the truth. Wow, she is old.

Zasalamel: oh.

Angol Fear: and you?

Zasalamel: How do you expect me do know? I had so many lives I can't keep count.

Angol Fear: (glares at Samara) Is he telling me the truth?

Samara: Yes…

Angol Fear: Damn!

Zasalamel: Do you have any other questions to ask me? There is nothing I don't know about you.

Angol Fear: Yeah, what was it that you saw in death before you meet me?

Zasalamel: Oh, not THIS again.

Angol Fear: NO, yes again, why did it keep on saying you wouldn't come back to it!? Do you still love it!? What is it that you see in it?! Am I not that skinny enough for you?!

Zasalamel: How many times should I tell you woman? Death and I are nothing, it is nothing to me. When it meant that I keep on cheating on it is because I can't die!

He is telling the truth.

Angol Fear: Oh, but then that means that you did have a relations with other woman!? How dare you! You said I was your only woman!

Zasalamel: In THIS life, for many times, I chose you because I know that you are not going to die unlike some woman. That is what makes you unique. Now, calm down or I'll kill Samara.

Samara: Why?!

Zasalamel: Because I do not like you.

Samara: (rolls her eyes) Whatever.

Angol Fear: Fine, but I better be your ONLY woman in this century or ELSE!

They both stand up and walk out of the room. The next pair to enter the room is Greed and Miser.

Miser: I don't understand why we have to talk with each other.

Greed: Oh, shut your trap, woman. It is not like I am happy about this as you are. We just have to ask each other questions.

Miser: Fine!

They both strap each other and glare at each other.

Miser: How old are you?

Greed: Old enough to be your daddy.

Miser: YOU'RE MY DAD!?

Greed: …HECK NO!

He is telling the truth.

Greed: Did you really waste your life on drugs?

Miser: No, you?

Greed: Not yet.

They are both telling the truth. So far so good.

Miser: Where you a teacher's pet?

Greed: NO!

He IS fibbing.

Miser: Ha-ha, idiot.

Greed: Oh, shut up. Do you have any other questions to ask me?

Miser: No.

Greed: Good, lets leave before we are tempted to kill that lass over there.

They both leave glaring at Samara. The next pair to come in and strap each other is Arthur and Setsuka.

Arthur: I'll like to start. Are those tits real or fake?

Setsuka: (she slaps him) You filth. Of COURSE.

Arthur: Oh, are you really a blond?

Setsuka: I am not so sure anymore, Namco keeps on changing my hair so yeah.

She is telling the truth again.

Setsuka: Are you the brother of Mitsurugi?

Arthur: No.

He is telling the truth.

Arthur: Why?

Setsuka: If you were… I'd kill you.

She is also telling the truth.

Arthur: why?!

Setsuka: Because he killed my master! If you were related I'd kill you for revenge!

Arthur: Do you even love me.

Setsuka: Not even close.

She is telling the truth.

Arthur: (starting to cry like a baby) Bo, then why did you marry me.

Setsuka: Your daughter.

Arthur: (stops crying) Hah?

Setsuka: When you told me how you lost your wife and how your daughter would not now the joys of having a mother growing up. I decided to help you raise her. Besides, I want to have a daughter.

She is telling the truth.

Setsuka: And who knows, I may learn to actually love you.

Arthur: Really?!

Setsuka: Yes, however, it is unlikely. Now lets go.

Setsuka glares at Samara and points at her.

Setsuka: I swear on my blade, If you tell anyone about this meeting I will 'bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep' that you will wish that you were ever born!

Samara: Wow, language.

Setsuka: Shut up, for I am a demon.

She walks out of the room, while Arthur follows her. The last pair. Siegfried and Hilde enter the room.

Samara: Okay, you can start any day now.

Hilde: A peasant must always shut up from a princess's presence. Do not order me when to talk, rat!

Samara: If you are calling me a peasant, then why are you on this show to win a sum of money.

Hilde: Because I want more, I tell you, More. Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!

She take a while to calm down and begins with the first question.

Hilde: Siegy, were you a girl at birth?

Siegfried: No. Why?

Hilde: Because you look feminine.

Siegfried: Grrr

They are both telling the truth.

Siegfried: Is it true that you killed Santa?

Hilde: Yes!

Siegfried: NOOOOOOOOOOOooooo. Why?

Hilde: Because I hate Christmas! So I got rid of the fart and fed him to my lovely pets.

Siegfried: Your puppies?

Hilde: Yes!

She is telling the truth. Poor Santa. :(

Hilde: Now, enough of that! Did you wear my dresses when I wasn't looking?

Siegfried: ( stops crying and stares at her) What?

Hilde: Did you wear my dresses?

Siegfried: 'sniff' Yes.

Hilde and Samara: What?!

Siegfried: It is true. Ever since I saw those beautiful dresses, I had to wear one. Since you had so many, I wore them all. Especially the pink ones.

… he is disturbingly telling the truth.

Samara: Are you sure you are not a homosexual?

Siegfried: (he takes a long pause) Fine, I don't care anymore! I am a homosexual! And I love it! Bwahahahahahahaha!

He is SO telling the truth.

Siegfried: That is not all (he points at Hilde) your father was my LOVER!

Samara: Oh my … that is so gross. He is telling the truth.

Hilde: How-

Siegfried: Let me explain. I fell in love with him ever since we first got married and were secretly seeing each other behind your back and did lots of magical things together at night. (his joy turns upsetting) However, he said he was leaving me for another man, his name was Heihachi. I couldn't let him leave me for THAT man. So I did what I had to do. If I couldn't have him, then no one can. So I killed him, he…hehe…Hahahahahahaha! It felt so great! No one leaves me, NO ONE!

Samara's mouth was open and Hilde was twitching.

Hilde: Y-y-you… k-killed… m-my …FATHER!

Siegfried: Yes, G and P of it.

He is telling the truth. He is so dead.

Hilde: (she snaps and gathers her weapons and glares at him) Not only did you KILL my father, but you also killed YOUR father. For that, I sentence you to death.

Siegfried: (stops laughing) What?

Hilde: Farewell! Monster.

She attacks him with various moves and pierces him with her short sword and throws him in the air. Then, her lance starts to glow and aims it at Siegfried smashing through his armor, killing him.

Samara: (stunned) ……I think I should go now.

Samara tries to sneak away, but…

Hilde: Not…so…fast…girl!

Samara: 'gulp' Y-yes?

Hilde: Did you forget when this was all over, I'd kill you for calling me a female dog, also meaning bitch? Well know it is time for you to die!

She runs to Samara.

Hilde: Get ready to depart from this world!

Samara screams and gets ready for the devastating blow. However, a very magical chandelier from out of nowhere and the most prettiest chandelier you have ever seen falls on Hilde; killing her instantly. Samara is now in a room by herself with two people that got killed in one day, not to mention they broke up and where already disqualified for Siegfried being a homosexual.

Samara: (puts her hands on her hips and rants) What the heck just happened here? What am I suppose to do about this?!

Author's note: Yeah, I got rid of Siegfried and Hilde, sorry for those who are a big fan of those two, but I just can't stand Siegfried at all for one minute. I can with Hilde but got rid of her as well. Please review and you can still vote for your favorite couple. The next one is Luna's day.


	4. Luna's Day

Disclaimer: Don't own Soul Calibur nor it's characters, they belong to Namco. Nor do I own Silent Hill and Its characters. There will be like only one or two but that is it. Also, I do not own Star Wars.

Luna's day.

Luna was sitting in a pink chair just like Samara's. Only that it had moon and star pictures on it. She was doing quick glances at Starkiller and Cassandra. In Luna's view; Cassandra looked like a mess, her hair was all messes up and her clothes were all ragged. To top it on even more. She had a huge purple eye on her check.

Luna: (did she fall, nah, she probably had 'bleep' 'bleep' with Starkiller. I wonder if that is good or bad. Chester once told me it is a good thing. What is 'bleep' anyway?) You guys may start to ask each other questions.

Cassandra: (nervous) Do I have to?

Luna: (rolls her eyes) Well, DUH! Why do you think you are here. Start or you will get the boot!

Cassandra: O-okay, (whimper) W-wh-what I-is your … favorite color.

Starkiller: :Your eyes are my color.

Cassandra: (Oh no! he is getting excited) O-oh…

Starkiller: Do you like stars?

Cassandra: No

She is telling the truth.

Starkiller: YOU don't like stars? Sweet checks.

Cassandra: It-t is not that I hate them. I JUST DON"T WANT TO LIVE IN SPACE WITH A KILLER!!

Cassandra yelled at him for the first time. Forgetting how dangerous he really is.

Starkiller: So, you don't like stars? But I'm so sure you like letters.

Cassandra: Letters? What are you talking about?

Starkiller threw her a pack of letters in front of her lap. Cassandra still did not get what was going on, that was until she saw the names on them.

Cassandra: …No… how did you..

Starkiller: I follow your scent every day. Why where you sending these letters to Samara, love?

Cassandra was sure she was going to die here and now. She doesn't now how to get out of this.

Cassandra: I-I don't know what you are talking about! Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!!

She was fibbing.

Starkiller: Oh really? Lets read one of the letters (he snatches one of the letters and begins to read). Lets see here 'Samara, please help me! Starkiller wants to force me out of my planet and take me to his creepy place in a creepy town with creepy nice people. I don't want to live in a creepy planet! Help me, Oh please!…by the way, your hair is creepy.' You don't like her hair?

Cassandra: N-no… I don't … Oh (she goes on her knees) please, Oh please! Are you sure you don't want anyone else besides me? I'll give you anything! (she goes hysterical) what is it that you want? Money, fame, my sword, bunnies, Heather's skirt, my earnings, (she was going crazy now and laughing) What is it that you WANT?! He-Hahahaha. What is it!?

Luna:…

Starkiller:….

Cassandra: … yeah… I'm screwed.

Luna: It was like you were taking CRAZY pills!

Starkiller: (clears his throat) Well my little star flower (he leans over her) If you want to give me something. You can do it tonight. Once we get out of here (he smirks) you'll have a good 'punishment' from big Starkiller for keeping these letters from me a secret.

He is telling her the truth and throws her over his shoulder.

Cassandra: Noooooooooo!

Luna: (she waves) Oh, they look so happy together. However, I did not get a single thing he told her about this 'punishment'. Well, come on in the next pair.

Amy enters the room with a tangled Maxi being dragged on the floor.

Luna: what the fudge happened to him.

Amy: Nothing serious, He'll live, probably.

Luna: Okay, strap his wrist and yours on that detector.

Amy does what she is told. She kicks Maxi in the most sensitive part of the body known to man kind because he wouldn't wake up.

Maxi: Ouccccccccccch! Mommy, she hurt my thingy!

Luna: What the 'bleep'.

Amy: (rolls her eyes) STFU and sit down or you will pay for insulting me back a while ago.

Maxi: Okay, okay. Just don't hurt me.

They both sit down and glare at each other.

Amy: Are you Elvis's brother?

Maxi: (begins to cry) How many times do I have to keep telling everyone! I AM nothing to HIM!

He is telling the truth.

Amy: If so, then why do you have that hair style?

Maxi: Because I like it, makes me feel like someone!

Amy: Like Elvis?

Maxi: For the love of Robbie! No, no, no!

He is telling the truth.

Maxi: Now it is my turn to ask YOU some questions! Why are you still after Kilik, what is it that made you fall for him?

Amy: Well, when a kid bullied me about my face, Kilik came and defended me. I was so happy! I feel in love with him! ( then her grin turns into a frown) But that idiot made my KILIK in love with her by some evil spell. I KNOW she did. So that is why I want to kill her SO badly. Who does she think she even is?! Of course she has…well more … developed breast than me … more brighter clothes than me…and a much more better personality…WELL, I can be that as well! I'll win His heart so just shut up! (she stares at the camera) and the people who are watching this should shut up too! NO one, I MEAN NO ONE CAN STOP ME! (she laughs like a psycho)

Luna: You are going to be a handful, aren't you?

Maxi: 'sigh' She already IS.

Amy yanks the leash of Maxi's to silence him.

Maxi: O-ok-ay, s-sss-stop Yanking Me-

Amy stops yanking him.

Maxi: (takes huge breaths) That was painful.

Amy: Shut up or you'll get more. Why are you in love with Xianghua?

Maxi: Well, at first she was very annoying and sometimes I wanted to snap the little neck of Xianghua.

Luna: (wow, many people seem to want or have wanted to kill her. Neat.)

Maxi: Until, we had so much in common, we were both orphans, like to play chokes, come from Asian descent, and we used to travel together. To be honest, I always did like her. She was the most beautiful thing I have ever fallen prey to. However, she never was interested in me, and Kilik is my friend, and… I decided to just let them be together… but (his sadness turned to determination) Not anymore I tell you. I will win her heart to me. No matter what! I swear to the 7 seas.

Amy and Luna were both silent.

Luna: Okay, so basically, neither of you two had a relationship with anyone. What losers.

Amy and Maxi: Shut up!

Luna sticks her tongue at them.

Maxi: Oh, by the way, is your dad secretly homosexual?

Amy: (angry) That is the LAST draw!

She yanks him with all her strength of a goddess and dragged him of the room.

Amy: Once we make it to our room (she puts on an evil smile) I will torture you with my very Ultra-new-deluxe-2008 -cat-o'-nine-tails. You will regret asking me that question, again.

Maxi: Nooooooooooooo-

Luna:…Can I whip him too once I'm done with everybody?

Amy: You sure can!

Luna: Sweet! Bye and have fun!

Amy: Oh, you don't know HOW much.

Maxi is whimpering when they finally made it out of the room. Amy let Algol and Kamikirimusi enter the room. They strapped each others wrists and sat down on the chairs smiling at each other.

Kamikirimusi: I'll like to start! Honey, do you love me.

Algol: 'bleep' yes.

He is telling the truth.

Algol: You my seduces?

Kamikirimusi: I 'bleep' love you, too!

They both stare at each other and start to make out in front of Luna. Luna got scared and panicked.

Luna: Ahh, my eyes! They burn! Please stop what you are doing!

Algol was half way unbuttoning Kamikirimusi's shirt, but halted when Luna yelled at them.

Algol: Oh, forgive us, we were getting in the mood.

Kamikirimusi: Yeah, hehehe.

Luna: 'Groans' Whatever. Do you guys have any other questions for each other or are you done?

Kamikirimusi: Oh, honey, do you think I should get myself a green skirt just like Heather's? It is to DIE for.

Algol: Anything will look good on you my precious.

They both huddled together, while poking each other and kissing. Which was starting to get a little annoying to Luna.

Luna: Are you guys finally done know. All this lovey-dovey stuff is making me whirl.

Kamikirimusi: Oh, why yes, I think we are (she stands up) lets continue this in our room.

Algol: (laughing) Oh, I like the way how you are so eager. What are we waiting for lets go!

They run off the room like crazy teenagers that just came home from a prom.

Luna: Sigh, finally! I just hope the next pair won't be this LOYAL to each other. Come on in who ever it is.

Mina and Hwang enter the room with not that much enthusiasm. They both strap each others wrist and stare at each other. Like, for a really long time staring at each other.

Luna: Well, are you guys going to say something or stare at each other's noses all day long?

Hwang: Fine (he looks at Mina) What is your favorite color?

Mina: Orange. You?

Hwang: Green.

They are both telling the truth.

Hwang: Umm…

Mina: Yes?

Hwang: Why do you worry your father so much?

Mina: About what?

Hwang: You know darn well as I do.

There was a long awkward pause.

Mina: Grrr, we already had this conversation many times already! To prove my father that I am better than any other man out there. That woman have all the right as men do, even though they don't have a fudging 'bleep'!

Hwang: So, just because you are not respected and taken for some one useless makes you think for risking your life will make you special.

Mina: Of course! Why can't anyone see that! My dad doesn't understand, the students don't understand, the generals don't understand, NO one understands! Not even you-

Hwang: (Angry) Don't you dare say I don't understand! I know how you feel, Mina. (he was glaring at her that made Mina shrink in her seat) You feel annoyed that no one pays any attention for your skills and what you are capable of, but people look down at you for being a woman. I don't care what you are Mina, I love you!

He is telling the truth.

Mina:…

Hwang:…

Luna:…Okay…are you guys done?

Hwang: I am done.

He gets up and leaves the room.

Mina: …Hwang Wait!

Mina goes after him while Luna waits for the last couple. Taki and Mitsurugi enter the room with bored faces and strap each other on the wrists and stare at each other.

Taki: I will begin, what was the best moment of your life.

Mitsurugi: When I slaughtered a whole army in China! However, they where so weak, they were all wearing adorable green skirts and weren't welled trained.

He is telling the truth.

Mitsurugi: What about you, what was your greatest moment in life?

Taki: You know, I am not so sure anymore. Maybe when Siegfried was killed in the last chapter. That did interest me plenty.

She is telling the truth.

Luna: Hold on a minute-! How did you know that Siegfried died?

Taki points behind Luna. Luna turns around at the sight of a camera where everything was recorded. Where Hilde killed Siegfried to the part when Samara had to drag Hilde's and Siegfried's dead bodies to the fridge.

Luna: Oh… oh well. Bye.

They both get up and leave.

Luna: (stretches her arms) That was so exhausting! Who knew that this will be such a boring day.

Author's note: I realized that I was spelling Kamikirimusi's name wrong. Instead of writing it with an 'a' in Kami; I wrote it with an 'I'. Sorry for my spelling. The next chapter will be Heather's day.


	5. Heather's Day

Disclaimer: Don't own Soul Calibur nor it's characters, they belong to Namco. Nor do I own Silent Hill and Its characters. There will be like only one or two but that is it. Also, I do not own Star Wars.

Heather was sitting on a wheelchair like in the third game. She was waiting for the pair to come in and strap themselves to ask each other questions. Two people with very tight and less clothing entered the room. The woman had very huge breasts and bore white hair making her to seem very old while Voldo, to Heather's surprise, bore some strange resemblance to Valtiel. Creepy.

Heather: Okay, you guys may start to ask each other questions.

Ivy: Mind if I do, (stares at her beloved) Oh, Voldo, do you think these look a bit too small for you.

Voldo: Hessse (Of course not, they are as BIG as your love for me)

He is telling the truth, which Heather isn't so sure what he said.

Ivy: Oh, Voldo, you make me so horny.

They where both laughing, Heather didn't find that very amusing.

Voldo: Hssss-kaka (Ivy, would you marry me?)

Ivy: I guess I would. Why won't anyone marry someone as so handsome, attractive, and very sexy person like you. That'd be absurd! Those poor scum's!

In her opinion, she is telling the truth.

Ivy: Voldo, dear, why don't you remove those bandages out of your face, they hide the color of your eyes.

Voldo: Heshh ('cause my eyes are ugly)

Ivy: Ohh, Voldo, nothing about YOU is ugly.

Voldo: Kiiii (heehaw)

They both somehow where able to kiss each other on the lips, even though his mouth was wrapped by towels. Heather was watching this very creepy scene that made her want to gag. Some time, they stopped kissing and glared at Heather.

Heather: What?

Ivy: I saw that.

Heather: Me gagging? What about it?

Ivy: Do you have something against our love, you pathetic cur. If you have something against it you better run before I unleash my blade on you. Even though you ware the most SEXY skirt of all time!

Heather: Why does everyone make such a big deal about my skirt?

Voldo: krssh (because it looks so beautiful! Ivy, I want one)

Ivy: I want one, too. You little girl, where did you get that skirt.

Heather: ...From Old Navy.

Ivy: We should find this 'Old Navy'. It is my destiny! Let us go Voldo.

They leave the room shaking their buts. The next to enter are Kilik and Xianghua.

Xianghua: (runs up to Heather all hyper and perky) Oh my gosh! Where did you get that skirt. It looks so b-e-a-u- tiful!

Heather: ...From old navy...

Xianghua: Yay, can't wait to get one. Right Kilik?

Kilik: Huh, oh yeah.

Xianghua: Kilik, did you even know what I said?

Kilik: That you want a pair of bunnies?

Heather: …He's so.

Xianghua: Well, yes he is, but he is not stupid.

Heather: Okay.

The pair strap each other and stare at each other with emotion in their eyes.

Kilik: Xianghua.

Xianghua: Yes Kilik?

Kilik: Well… where do babies come from?

Xianghua: …

Heather: …You are SO slow. They come from the womb of women.

Kilik: Oh…Wait, they come from a woman? How do they get them out? Are they able to breath in there? How do THEY get there!?

Xianghua: Calm down Kilik. They get out from the uterus, they breath when a woman breaths, and they get there if a woman doesn't use protection when having intercourse.

Kilik: Intercourse!? We had that many times and you never had a baby.

Xianghua: Kilik, you are so hopeless sometimes! I use birth control before we get into it.

Kilik: What is birth control?

Xianghua: sigh…

They where talking a WHOLE lot about birth control and the concept of pregnancy. That it took like an hour and a half on the same fudging topic, even repeating the SAME questions. When Kilik seemed to be done, he asked one more question.

Kilik: What you tell me is true. How is the baby able to get out from there? It is so small and tight and... (he was blushing now.) How big is the baby?

Xianghua: Well, about to my elbow to my tip of the finger you can say.

Kilik: Oh…wait (turns pale) The baby will be that BIG?! How can it fit through your-

Xianghua: It is going to expand Kilik.

Kilik: It is going to get WIDE!? O.o . NO, I don't want you to die! I will never let you get pregnant! I don't want to lose you!

He hugs her so tightly that she couldn't even breath.

Xianghua: Kilik l-let go o-of me… your hurting me.

Kilik: Oh ( he lets go of her but still cries) I just don't want to see you in pain.

Heather: Oh my gosh! Where were you all this life?!

Kilik: In an isolated place that never thought me about pregnant people.

He is telling the truth.

Heather: You are 23 years old and had never been lectured about any of that?

Kilik: They said it wasn't important for me to know yet.

She rolls her eyes and looks at Xianghua.

Heather: What do you even see in him that made you BE with him?

Xianghua: (offended) Well, FYI, I love him because he has such a kind hearted soul and he was always nice to me and a true respectful man!

She is telling the truth.

Heather: Do you love him or are you with him because he can't handle even his own social affairs?

Xianghua: OMGosh! I love him for Pete's sake!

Heather: Fine. You Kilik, do you love her.

Kilik: (angry) Yes I do, if I didn't, I wouldn't cry for her well being!

They are both telling the truth.

Heather: Fine, whatever.

Xianghua: Good, now Kilik, it is true that it will get wide for a baby to come out. However, that doesn't mean that I will die okay.

Kilik: Really, okay, you are telling the truth right and don't say 'just kidding'.

Xianghua: Well, some do die from child birth (she looks at the worried Kilik) but that doesn't mean that I will-

Before she can even finish. He passes out on while his eyes are open big and blank.

Xianghua: Kilik!

Heather: Oh boy, he is so fragile about these things.

Xianghua was carrying Kilik on her back to take him to their room. Heather sat there to be greeted by Sophitia and Rothion. They both sat down and stared at each other before one of them could try to say something to each other.

Sophitia: So Rothion, did you remember to pray to Hephaestus this morning?

Rothion: Yes, my dear wife, I did.

Sophitia: Oh, goody! What was the prayer you asked him.

Rothion: I don't know if I should tell you…

Sophitia: You can trust me and so will Heather, right?

Heather: Right.

Rothion: Well…I told him to leave our family and lives the 'bleep' ALONE!

He is telling the truth.

Sophitia: W-what!? You can't be serious!

Rothion: Sophitia, my kind wife, I love you, but I want Hephaestus out of our lives!

Sophitia: B-but, Why?

Rothion: Sigh, let me put it this way. One, he asks, a woman to destroy Soul Edge that wasn't even well trained for fighting. Two, you found Soul Edge and got infected with it's filth. Three, he told you to find that blasted sword again which wasn't much of my liking and I wanted to take your place so you wouldn't get killed, yet he tells me to make you a sword instead! Four, we have a family and our children are infected with that dark aura of that one-eyed sword. Five, you are forced to try to destroy it and leave your family behind. Sixth, Hephaestus is a GOD, or so he says, why can't he go and destroy it! Has no balls!

Sophitia: …

Rothion: …

Heather: …wait, you guys worship Greek Gods.

Sophitia: I worship them.

Rothion: I only worship them because she wants me to.

Heather: Okay, you guys are so damn gross.

Both: What did you say?

Heather: Sigh, look, this is not any of my business, but those Gods weren't really Gods in my book at all. They were all bisexual and incest and didn't show mercy to their creations. Zeus had many affairs with women, Hephaestus in one point tried to rape his sister Diana, his wife cheated on him with Ares, they were all, how do you put it, not so perfect.

Sophitia: Well…yeah... but…

Rothion: …Sophie, you know very well it is true.

There was a long pause.

Heather: I know! Change your religion!

Sophitia: You what?!

Heather: You heard me. Change it.

Sophitia: Why?!

Heather: Because, in other religions, the REAL God won't use you and will be there for you.

Sophitia: but..

Rothion: Sophitia, there is something else you MUST know, I am Catholic.

Sophitia: What?! You dumped our previous religion for that other religion?!

Rothion: Forgive me Sophitia, but this God is more better than the ones I used to worship. Good bye you worthless 'bleep' of Greek Gods!

Heather: Oh boy.

For the first time in their lives, they began to argue about one serious issue. Religion.

Heather: I think you two should leave know and discuss this in your rooms.

Sophitia: (standing up very furious) What is it that this other God has that these Gods I worship don't have?

Rothion: Sophie, he is not incest nor homosexual.

Heather: Hmm, that was fun. Come on in Sheherazade and Raphael. I don't want to be here another second.

Sheherazade and Raphael enter the room. Raphael was wearing an apron and Sheherazade was wearing a tuxedo. They both strap each other and stare at each other.

Sheherazade: Oh, my WIFE, do you like my little apron I bought you.

Raphael: Yes my lord.

He is telling the truth.

Raphael: You look so manly with that tuxedo of yours, and makes me feel like a little girl.

Sheherazade: Hehehe.

They both laugh. Heather has the idea that they are cross-dressers. Raphael was wearing nothing but an apron and Sheherazade was wearing a tux that made her look like a guy. This pairing is so messed up.

Sheherazade: Raphael, there is something I been wanting to tell you for the last two weeks Since the day I first saw Heather's skirt.

Heather: (why does EVERYONE seem to be making such a big deal about my skirt?)

Sheherazade: Raphael, if we win this stupid game with all these pathetic obstacles thrown at us (she opens a bow with a very shiny ring shaped as Tinky Winky's head) will you marry me?

Raphael: Squueeeeeeeeeeeeeek! Yesh, I do! I want to be your bi-- for the rest of my life just to be with my manly woman!

He giggles like a scary fag wad and hugs Sheherazade calling her 'oh my lord' and 'screw me pwease.'

Heather: (shivering) That was so disturbing, I think I'm going to -

She gagged.

Sheherazade: Lets go to our room and do little dirty things if you know what I mean.

She carries him with her strong arms and run of the room. The last pair to come in are Ashlotte and Astaroth. They both strap each other and stare at each other. Ashlotte had a blank expression as usual and Astaroth was ogling at her long and VERY smooth legs.

Heather: (stares at Astaroth) Will you stop staring at her as if you are going to rape her or are you going to ask her questions?

Astaroth: Ah-okay! Ummm- do you like Heather's skirt? I want one, too!

Heather: (rolls eyes) Sigh, here we go again with my skirt.

Astaroth: Do you, do you, do you…?

Ashlotte: … if you want me to like it, you have to order me to.

Astaroth: Oh, okay, I want you to like her pretty little swirt.

Ashlotte: Okay, I like it.

She is telling the truth.

Astaroth: Yay! I want my mommy. (he looks at Heather) Will you be my mommy!

Heather: No.

Astaroth: B-but why!? I thought you loved children!

Heather: NO! I am still too young for children.

Astaroth: But what about your child with the big huge head that came from your-

Heather: I will never consider that so-called-god my child! She was big and hideous and did try to burn me. It took me five hours, twenty-one minutes, and 45 seconds to give her a good smacking on the head! Giving birth to a HUMAN child is ONE thing, giving birth to a DEVIL was ANOTHER thing. By the way, how old are you? At this size, you don't need a mommy.

Astaroth: Bwaaaaa (he begins to cry, the poor guy) My d-daddy n-never loved me! A-and he a-always g-gave me s-slaps for drawing Barney and Friends. 'sniff' Please, (he fell on his knees and dragged himself to Heather's side holding on to her very shirt skirt) S-since you had a child, m-maybe you would take much b-better care o-of me! (he stares at her with watery eyes) Pleeeeeease!

Heather was obviously annoyed about his foolishness and he didn't seem to hear that she killed her 'child'. However, she couldn't really bare to see him cry like this, it made her feel guilty to reject him.

Heather: (Grrrr, the things I do for some people, yet he is not a person but an oversized rocky idiot!) Fine! But if you misbehave, I will disown you!

Astaroth squeaked like a little five year old and gave Heather a bear hug.

Astaroth: Thank you, I love you!

Heather: (C-can't breath!) N-need air.

Astaroth: Oh, (he lets go of her) sorries.

Ashlotte was just staring with emotionless eyes and waited for her master to continue on with their talk.

Astaroth: Okay, Ashy, you can ask me a question now.

Ashlotte: What kind of question?

Astaroth: Any you want!

Ashlotte:…What was my previous order that I had when I forgot?

Astaroth: … Ask me another question.

Ashlotte:… why won't you answer my last question?

Astaroth: Yeah, lets go now, bye mommy!

Astaroth walks out of the room, except Ashlotte. Astaroth came back to drag her out of the room.

Heather: sigh, What a day.

She walks out of the room and enters Samara's room to tell her that she is done with her task. When she does, she sees that Samara is trying to stuff the bodies of Hilde and Siegfried.

Heather: … did you kill them.

Samara: (still shoving them in but answers her question) No, but Hilde killed Siegfried because he was a homosexual and had an affair with her father. However, he killed him because he was going to leave him. When Hilde was through with Siegy here, she wanted to kill me next for calling her a female dog, also meaning bitch. Then a magical and the most prettiest chandelier falls on her ending her life.

Heather: …Why are you stuffing their bodies in the fridge while you can give them a funeral instead.

Samara: (done stuffing the fridge and turns to Heather) Because- it will be a waste of MY money. And besides, I think I'll make them into a little pie for Astaroth, Amy, Raphael, Angol, and Kamikirimusi since they liked my Tira juice last time.

Heather: … your high.

Samara: Thanks.

Luna enters the room.

Samara: How was your day Luna?

Luna: Boring, not much happened, except that Amy was tormenting Maxi, I also helped whipping him too.

Samara: GASP, you whipped him!? Without asking me to join?! You're mean!

Luna: Off with you, besides, are we still going to pull that prank on Maxi?

Samara: Are you nuts!? I will never forget to pull a prank on him. Lets go now.

Luna: Neat! Lets go!

They both run off the room to do something useless while Heather stayed in the room staring at the fridge.

Heather: (she stares at the camera) Well folks, come again for the next chapter. Pray that people will stop talking about my skirt. Even though it is a beautiful skirt.

She leaves the room.

Author's note: Well, that took a long time. About the part with Sophitia and Rothion. I know I was writing about some religious conflicts and insulting most of the Greek Gods, but lets face it, they WHERE incest and bisexual. While the REAL god I believe in isn't. Hope I didn't offend anyone about those who worship the Greek gods, if there are still some people who even worship them that is, which is very unlikely. You can still **vote** for your favorite pairing and please **REVIEW**. People read this and don't leave one. Bye.


	6. The Hunt for UnicornBunnies

Disclaimer: Don't own Soul Calibur nor it's characters, they belong to Namco. Nor do I own Silent Hill and Its characters. There will be like only one or two but that is it. Also, I do not own Star Wars.

Samara: Why hello everyone, last time me, Heather, and Luna where making sure that everyone were telling each other private questions to each other that they wouldn't tell each other. Luckily, that fruity man and that bitch, FYI the term of a female dog not the offensive term, but if you people like, this will be the last time I'll use it.

Samara looks around the room and back to the camera.

Samara: But for more serious business! No more about those two fools that lost their souls that I was forced to stuff them in the fridge since I didn't feel like contaminating the Earth by their filth since Siegfriedaand the DOG Hilde were very mean. Today, the couples are going to have their first challenge! The task is that they have to enter that very dark swamp (she points to a foggy and very dark swamp that are filled with glowing red eyes) and their goal is to collect and find as many unicorn-bunnies that are bunnies that have horns on their very cute foreheads!

She giggles.

Samara: However, they have a time limit of one hour. Each bunnie they find will get 5 points each for them. LET THE CHALLENGE BEGIN!

The fourteen remaining couples walk outside the little cottage and all stand in a straight line with their respective person. Among them, Maxi had a very difficult time trying to fix his hair that was now a very puffy afro. Cassandra looked like a rack with all her hair so wild and she seemed to have a very hard time standing up, so Starkiller had to be carrying her all the time so she won't collapse. Astaroth was ogling his precious again, while she was staring at a far distance with no emotion. Hwang was ignoring Seong Mina. Talim was mad at Yunsung for kissing her yesterday. Kilik was pale from yesterday learning the horrifying fact on the concept of pregnancy. Greed and Miser were glaring at Samara. Voldo and Ivy were getting naughty with each other. Angol Fear was questioning Zasalamel's love for her. Amy was glaring at Xianghua, blaming her for scaring Kilik of birth. Everyone were doing things about the events of yesterday, but Samara began to speak.

Samara: Why, hello everyone. How are you doing?

Most of the couples were glaring at her.

Samara: What?!

Zasalamel: Thanks to you, Angol Fear won't shut the trap if I love her or not!

Sophitia: I find out my husband doesn't like the Greek Gods! It was better not to know!

Yunsung: Talim hates me because of the questions I asked her, man!

Kilik: I learned the horrifying concept of pregnancy!

Maxi: Amy started to abuse me with her whip when I asked if her father was a homosexual! If it weren't for this, I wouldn't ask!

Miser and Greed: We both hate you for not giving us the money now!

Cassandra: You didn't get my letters! I hate you!

Samara:……Well… this is what I get…Angol Fear, the rules say that the couples don't have to love each other to be here. So give it a rest. Sophitia, your husband can think what he wants. Yunsung, she doesn't hate you cause you asked her questions, she hates you for what you do AND are, jerk! Kilik, sooner or later you were going to find out either way. Maxi, that's what you get for being an Elvis wannabe. Miser, Greed, shut up. Cassandra, what letters?

Cassandra: (she is screaming on the top of her lungs) The ones to get me out of here! (Bleep)

Samara: I am not a (Bleep)!

Cassandra: Please! (she crawls to Samara on her fours and tugs on her pants) I am so scared. Help me!

Samara: From what or who?

Cassandra: From-

Starkiller: Cassandra…

Cassandra stopped talking and turned her head back very slowly.

Starkiller: If you know what is good for you, you'll come back here NOW.

Starkiller knew what he was talking about and took a few glances at Sophitia and Rothion. Who were both oblivious on what was going on since they were arguing about religion.

Cassandra: Y-yes, please forgive me.

She slowly walks back to him with her head lowered to the ground.

Samara: (What was all that about? Maybe she needed help with her period.) Okay, everyone. This is you challenge. You are all going in that very dark and foggy swamp over there. Your task is to collect as many cute and fluffy unicorn-bunnies. You all have an hour to do so and each one you get will be five points.

She pauses and looks down at the sheet.

Samara: Two people voted for their favorite pair five points. The ones in the lead are… Cassandra/Starkiller…

Cassandra: NO! Are you serious!?

Samara: …Yes, you should be happy.

Cassandra: (I wanted to lose. L )

Samara: …and…(oh crap)… A-Algol/K-Kamikirimusi…(why, they are one step closer to adopting me. This can't be happening!)

Kamikirimusi: Gasp! Did you hear that honey. We are one step closer to add her as our first child!

Algol: Yes! Thank you who has voted for us.

Samara: (I wish they hadn't) Oh, well let the games begin!

All the couples ran to different directions to try to find and capture all those unicorn-bunnies.

In the forest. Starkiller was running as fast as lighting. Chopping down dead trees to the ground and killing as many bunnies as he kept on choking them or snapped their necks.

Cassandra: S-Starkiller!

Starkiller: What…

Cassandra: Samara said to find and capture… not to find and KILL!

Starkiller: … Do you want me to screw you?

Cassandra: …No.

Starkiller: That is a good girl, just stay quiet and follow if you know what is good for you.

So Cassandra had no choice but helplessly saw all those defenseless bunnies getting killed by the blood thirsty killer.

Mean while, Astaroth was eating all the worms he found in a little puddle of mud instead for finding unicorn-bunnies.

Ashlotte: Astaroth.

Astaroth: Yes pumpkin. (he took a big jug of worms in his mouth with glee)

Ashlotte: Should we not be searching for unicorn-bunnies instead me watching you eat these worms in the mud.

Astaroth: … Eat worms with me!

So she did what she was ordered and ate those worms in the mud.

Elsewhere, Talim was ignoring Yunsung's pleas that he was sorry for kissing her yesterday.

Yunsung: Come on Tal, I said I was sorry.

Talim:…

Yunsung: Hey! Would you at least say something! Are you even going to look at me!?

Talim: … Yun… just… help me find the unicorn-bunnies. Okay, thanks.

Talim was looking inside bushes while Yunsung was completely speechless and walked up behind her.

Yunsung: Talim, why don't you really not want to marry me?

Talim: …..You already know that answer.

He forces her to turn around and they both stares at each other's brown orbs that seemed like at eternity.

Yunsung: Talim, do you hate me?

Talim was just very quiet, trying to not turn her eyes away from his seducing orbs.

Talim:… I-I

He leans in a bit closer to her face.

Yunsung: Talim…I…

Their very sweet moment came to an abrupt hold when Samara popped out of nowhere.

Samara: That is SO adorable!

They both scream from surprise until they realized it wasn't that scary psycho lesbian Tira.

Yunsung: You fudging scared us! We thought you were that crazy psycho chick Tira that might've come back from the grave! Woman!

Samara: Not sorry-…Hey! Why did you think I was that mental case Tira!?

Talim: …Why did we think it was Tira of all corpses?

Yunsung: …I have no idea…

Talim, Yunsung, and Samara were wondering for some time until they gave up the awkward idea.

Talim: Wait a minute. Why are you with golden hair as the sun here in the swamp that many unfortunate souls had been lost or scared to death by scary ponies.

Yunsung: Yeah! You are not even suppose to be here. YOU are OUR host. How will we get the money if you end up in this heap? How do expect me to build my amusement park, 'bleep'.

Samara: (rolls eyes) Details, details, details. The reason why I'm here because I can't stand to hear another minute of Luna's bad singing. She won't stop bothering me that Rock left her for that big-breasted-diva Valeria.

Talim and Yunsung: …She was dating Rock!?

Samara: Yeah, but that good-for-nothing Rock said she wasn't even good enough for him! He has such nerve!

Talim: So you are here because you don't want to listen to Luna's grief?

Samara: Yes, but I'm also here to get as many bunnies for me as well before ANY of YOU get them!

Talim: That is unfair! Who do you expect me not to get married to HIM (she points at Yunsung).

Yunsung: It is as if you don't want to marry me.

Samara: I don't care if you guys win or not- as long as I get those very sexy bunnies, that is all that matters, chow!

She walks off to find some bunnies for herself. Leaving the pair to continue their seemingly hopeless goal to find unicorn-bunnies.

Meanwhile, Amy hid inside a bush glaring at Xianghua who was holding hands with her Kilik. Today was the day Amy was going to kill that tramp Xianghua. Amy slowly withdrew a very big cannon from her skirt and focused it on Xianghua's direction.

Amy: Sayonara, sucker!

She pulls on the trigger releasing the rocket to end Xianghua's life. However, Xianghua saw a penny on the ground and she knew she had to have it for its so called powers of luck. She crouched down to pick it up and the rocket her by 4 inches.

Xianghua: (startled) What was that?

Kilik: (Didn't see the rocket) Uh, I have no idea.

Amy: ('bleep'! If that penny wasn't in the way I might've killed her!)

So the confused pair shrugged it of and continued to find unicorn-bunnies… if they find any.

Somewhere in the forest. There are loud screams of pure horror. Hwang, Mina, Raphael, Sheherazade, Ivy, Voldo, Sophitia, Rothion, Astaroth, and Ashlotte were all surrounded by the very vicious and very cute unicorn bunnies while they are shaking in there boots. Well, except Ashlotte, since she has no emotions or anything.

Ivy: That idiotic host never told us they are dangerous at all!

Astaroth: I want my mommy!

Mina: I thought you never had a mommy.

Astaroth: Shut the 'bleep' up! FYI, I do have a mommy, and more prettier than YOUR mommy.

Mina: My mommy was NEVER ugly!

Astaroth: Her FACE was never ugly.

Mina: What did you say about my mother's face!?

Astaroth: I said-

Ivy: (infuriated) Will you two imbeciles shut up about mommies. It is no time to be talking about mommies of our time in peril!

Astaroth: B-but she-

Mina: B-but he-

Sheherazade: Oh, will you all shut UP! We have a bigger problem to deal with!

The very angry unicorn-bunnies start to slowly advance to the five frightened couples.

Raphael: (talks in a very sissy voice) Oh, someone, catch me…

He actually faints from fear and lands on the ground very hard.

Hwang: …I knew he was fruity…

The bunnies start to nibble on Raphael's blond hair along with his eyebrows.

Astaroth: Oh, I can't take the horror anymore! The dead Raphael, the dark creepy forest, the BUNNIES! I-I c-can't…

He falls face flat on the muddy ground inhabited by worms.

Everyone except Ashlotte: Ewwwwwww!

The bunnies are done eating Raphael's hair and they start advancing to Mina.

Mina: W-why are they c-coming towards ME!?

Ivy: You donkey! Don't you get it! They want to eat your hair since it is the most longest of ours! Think with your head! (Bleep)!

A very hungry pink bunnie with red eyes leaps to Seung Mina and holds on to the end of her very long ponytail. Seung Mina becomes hysterical and runs around the forest and trying to slam the bunnie of by hitting it various times on a tree.

Mina: Get your filthy mouth out of my gorgeous hair rodent! Eek, Eek, EEK!

One hour was up and the couple return back to their destinations with some that weren't so lucky.

Samara: (All hyper and jolly) Why, hello everyone! Did you all have a fun day!

Mostly everyone: NO!

Samara: (offended) NO!? No!? What kind of response was that? Don't you like bunnies. The answer better be yes…

Mina: No! A pink bunnie ate most of my hair! Now I look like a boy!

Her hair looks like the one in Soul Calibur four in her second outfit.

Raphael: (shrieks like a girl) They ate my hair! My gorgeous blond hair along with my eyebrows!

Hwang: They bit my hand.

Cassandra: (whimpering) I couldn't protect them…

Starkiller: They were no challenge. How weak!

Astaroth: I want my mommy!

Ivy gets mad and slaps him.

Ivy: Enough with this mommy nonsense!

Everyone starts to argue until Samara sprays them with very cold water to calm them down.

Samara: Silence… now… Show me all those adorable unicorn bunnies!

Kilik/Xianghua have zero.

Talim/Yunsung have zero.

Hwang/Seung Mina have zero.

Ivy/Voldo have zero.

Taki/Mitsurugi have twenty.

Maxi/Amy have zero.

Sophitia/Rothion have zero.

Setsuka/Arthur have zero.

Astaroth/Ashlotte have zero.

Raphael/Sheherazade have zero.

Cassandra/Starkiller have one thousand and fourteen.

Algol/Kamikirimusi have 45.

Zasalamel/Angol Fear have 44.

Miser/Greed have 19.

Samara: … Only FIVE of you collected bunnies!? What about the rest of you?

Everyone who didn't find any: They where too fast and dangerous. They also wanted to eat our hair.

Samara: Sigh… oh well… Will the five pairs come up and let me see that you did collect the right number.

The pairs went up and showed them their bunnies. Taki and Mitsurugi have One hundred points, Algol and Kamikirimusi have two hundred and twenty five points. Miser and Greed have ninety five points. Zasalamel and Angol Fear have two hundred and twenty points. Samara was done with almost all of them instead of one pair…

Starkiller enters the room with a very huge bag filled with all the bunnies that Samara wants to see.

Samara: (her eyes are big and wide) Oh… I want to see them! Open them

Cassandra: (Worried) A-are you sure you want to see them?

Samara: Well, DUH! It won't matter anyway! I have to see them to make sure what you are telling me is the truth.

Starkiller: You heard the woman.

He unties the sack and releases all the bunnies in front of Samara. By now, must be crying and screaming.

Samara: (crying as if there is no tomorrow) What did you do!?

Starkiller: I-

Samara: What did you DO!?

Starkiller: …I captured them. That is what I said.

Samara: (Throws a book at him) YOU KILLED THEM ALL! YOU SNAPPED THEIR NECKS AND NOW THEY ARE DEAD THANKS TO YOU! GET OUT! I SAY! OUT!

Samara lays herself on the poor dead bunnies and sobs for their deaths.

Starkiller: Cassandra.

Cassandra: Y-yes?

Starkiller: Did she give us points?

Cassandra: N-no, I don't t-think so…

He makes a loud cracking noise with his knuckles.

Starkiller: Cassandra.

Cassandra: (gulp) Y-yes?

Starkiller: Get ready, you'll need it.

He throws her over his shoulder and runs toward the room.

Cassandra: (Not again…)

Author's note: Sorry if this chapter took so long. Many things happened that I don't feel like explaining. I hope I can try to update my next chapter this week, but I won't bet on it. You can still **vote** for your favorite pairing and please **REVIEW**. People read this and don't leave one. Bye.


	7. Trapped

_Disclaimer: Don't own Soul Calibur nor it's characters, they belong to Namco. Nor do I own Silent Hill and Its characters. There will be like only one or two but that is it. Also, I do not own Star Wars._

That night, everyone was fast asleep from all that hard work trying to find and catch bunnies, which most didn't even get any. Unknown to them, someone in black entered their rooms. As quiet as can be, the shadow dragged them to another room.

?????: Hehehehehe… they will get what is coming to them!

The next day.

Talim was the first to wake up to meditate. She expected Yunsung to be on the other bed snoring like a lazy pig. However, this morning, she felt very sore all over her body. Even more strange, she felt nothing soft and cozy underneath her, nor was she covered in her blanket, nor was she in her own room with Yunsung, either. They were locked up in a big room with everyone! What is going on!?

Talim: …Everyone! Wake up! We are in deep yogurt!

To her sweet little voice, everyone woke up. Well, except Astaroth, Yunsung, and Maxi.

Astaroth: Five more minutes mommy.

Ashloette: I think you should master…

Astaroth slowly woke up and scanned the room with his petty tiny eyes that were really small for a giant like him.

Astaroth:… Are we in the hospital! Waaaaah, I don't want to get a shot! I don't have an owie!

Ivy gets mad and slaps him across the face.

Ivy: No you big jar of ridiculous junk of garbage! We are trapped in this big room all together!

Astaroth: …Are you the nurse?

Ivy: Grrr! (she hits him again)

Amy, in the other hand, glared at the Maxi who was still sound asleep. She stood up, walked towards him. And kicked him in the most fragile spot he has between his legs REALLY hard.

Maxi jumped up and screamed like a fat woman.

Maxi: OUCH! MY NUTS! THEY HURT SO BAD!

Amy: Wake up idiot! How can you sleep in a time like this!? Look around you!

Maxi looks around and stares at Amy.

Maxi: Where are we?

Amy: (very angry) If I knew that, I wouldn't have kicked you!

She kicks him again on the same spot!

Maxi: Mommy…(he falls on his knees and passes out.)

Talim was trying to wake up Yunsung, but she didn't seem to have any good luck. Seeing this, Hwang walks over to Talim.

Hwang: Having any luck?

Talim: No, sigh, why is he so stubborn! Every time I try, he won't wake up! I ran out of ideas…

Hwang: Hmmm, lets see if I can help.

Talim: How?

Hwang: Watch and learn little girl, watch and learn.

Talim was mad that he called her a little girl, but she watched either way. Hwang leans his mouth close to Yunsung's ear and yells.

Hwang: WAKE UP YUNSUNG! TALIM IS ON YOUR BED NAKED!

Yunsung rose from the floor.

Yunsung: Where!? Where is she?

Yunsung looks up and sees a very angry Talim tapping her foot and crossing her hands.

Yunsung: … um… hi Talim…uh…

Talim: YOU PERVERT!

She storms off fuming.

Hwang: She now knows that you are a pervert. Hehe.

Yunsung: Shut up Hwang! I'm more better looking than you!

Hwang: As if!

Mina: Knock it off you two! This is no time to argue.

Everyone was trying to find a way to get out. But the room was entirely unbreakable and there was no single door nor window. So they all gave up and sat around a big circle next to their respected mate… well, maybe except Amy who was a few inches away from Kilik.

Zasalamel: This is just great. I tried to teleport out of this room and my magic can't seem to affect it, my scythe can't cut it open, my blasts of energy can't shatter it, Starkiller's force can't damage it, Taki's spells are useless against it, Algol's powers can't diminish it, the so-called gods of Sophitia won't help us-

Sophitia: Hey!

Zasalamel: -Angol Fear's weapon can't split it open, Kamikirimusi, Astaroth, Ashlotte, and Mitsurugi's brute strength can't budge it open, and that pathetic woman of a host isn't here and I'm sure she had to do something with this!

A long pause.

Zasalamel: And-

Mostly everyone: WILL YOU STOP IT ALREADY!? WE GET IT! SHEESH!

Zasalamel: Humph!

So everyone just sat there and looked at one another. Ivy and Voldo were kissing each other, Rothion and Sophitia were arguing about religion, again, Astaroth was ogling Ashlotte, Talim was ignoring Yunsung, Xianghua and Kilik were cuddling each other, Amy was glaring at Xianghua, etc. Everyone just sat there doing different things.

Angol Fear: (she was staring at how close Kilik and Xianghua were cuddled together and stared at Zasalamel) Honey.

Zasalamel: Yes?

Angol Fear: Why don't you cuddle me like Kilik does with Xianghua?

Zasalamel: Because I don't want to do it in public woman. Now be quiet.

Angol Fear: Honey.

Zasalamel: Sigh, What?

Angol Fear: Who's panties are these? I found them near your drawer.

She held up some panties that had a purple hue and the text in the center read Azula.

Zasalamel: (oh crud) I don't know what you are talking about.

Angol Fear: You know very well what I mean! Who is she! Tell me!

She starts to shake him.

Angol Fear: Tell me!

On the other hand. Taki and Mitsurugi were both drinking sake that Taki carried in one of her sacks and enjoyed the view of the fighting couple.

Mitsurugi: Ha! They act like cat and dog fighting over something as pathetic as that. That man has no shame nor honor.

Taki: Now Mitsurugi, don't be rude. You don't even now a single thing about honor so stay silent.

Mitsurugi: Ba! As if! You who thinks has honor doesn't have it. You go around killing people too!

Taki: But that was for a good cause.

Mitsurugi: Right, like that time when a drunken man touched your rump and you killed him. Please.

Taki: Just stay silent!

Mitsurugi: Fine!

A minute later, the duo got completely drunk.

Mitsurugi: Yo, babe.

Take: M-hmmm?

Mitsurugi: Wanna make out?

Taki: Mmmm…(she jumps onto him and both start to kiss in front of everyone.)

Sheherazade: Get a room!

Raphael: They can't, this is the only room we have.

Sheherazade: Oh, yeah…

Setsuka: Look at those two idiots, making out in front of everyone here, she is a total disgrace to the ninja!

Arthur: Honey, don't be that cruel, this is a place for couples…so it is normal for them to kiss a lot.

Setsuka gets really mad at him and glares at him with geisha-demon eyes.

Setsuka: Are you telling my that I am wrong.

Arthur: N-no, I just don't agree with you.

Setsuka gets really mad at him and points at Taki.

Setsuka: I mean, look at her, will a ninja ever wear such a revealing outfit? She is a 'bleep' 'bleep'!

Arthur:…

Taki:…(glares at Setsuka) What did you call me!?

Setsuka: You heard me very well, bi- 'bleep'!

Taki: Oh, so you think I look bad? Look at you, half-breed!

Sesuka: Gasp! Take that back!

Taki: As if, and your husband is a pathetic samurai, he is white for crying out loud!

Arthur: (offended and pissed) What did you call me you wi-

Mitsurugi shielded his partner and glared at the American samurai.

Mitsurugi: Back off, or you'll die!

Arthur: Oh, look who's here, the CONCEITED Japanese. And a pathetic peasant!

Mitsurugi: You want to fight me (he unleashes his sword) bring it on! You won't even make it through this fight.

Arthur: (unleashes his sword) Bring it on, bas- 'bleep'.

They both charge at each other in an intense fight.

Taki: Mitsurugi, enou-

Setsuka pulled her hair and made her trip on the floor.

Setsuka: That is their fight (she unleashes her weapon and faces Taki) Now, draw your blade. I wont be fighting a coward.

Taki takes out her two kunai Rekki and Mekki Maru and glares at Setsuka.

Taki: Bring it on! 'bleep'!

An intense battle began.

Miser and Greed are just glaring at all the idiots they consider idiots in this room and giving them curses under their breath.

Miser: Hey, you old goat.

Greed: What do you want you bimbo?

Miser: How come you attack women in Tales of Souls?

Greed: 'cause I am too old to fight strong men and I am sure I'll lose. Besides, at least I will see their very, silky, creamy, and mouth watering panties (he blushes just picturing it)

Miser: So not only are you a pervert, but you are also a spineless fat chicken.

Greed: Ha, what about you woman, why do you attack men.

Miser: To make me more stronger to kill you and that foolish host that I really learned to hate.

Greed: Hey, lets both kill her together! 50-50?

Miser: Meh, why not.

They were both quiet again and had nothing else to do but stare at Taki and Mitsurugi.

Miser: Hey, old fart. I bet you can't throw this dead pig into the mouth of Astaroth from this distance and make him vomit it out.

Greed: Oh yeah? Watch me.

He focuses the dead pig facing the brute's mouth and with very good aim. The pig went flying very fast as the speed of light and forced open the beast's mouth. Before you knew it, Astaroth did vomit the pig, along with Siegfried's head that he ate from the fridge yesterday.

Mostly Everyone: Gross, Astaroth what the heck.

Miser: Wow, you actually did it.

Greed: Hah, I still have it in me! Sucker.

Astaroth falls on the ground with his eyes wide open.

Ashlotte: Master, are you okay?

Astaroth: Uh… I don't fell… so…(know he vomits Hilde's head)

Ashlotte: (Not disgusted nor surprised) Are those heads really bad for you.

Astaroth: …next time… I'll just eat the fingers…

Algol, Yunsung, and Starkiller were arm wrestling.

Yunsung tried so desperately to smash Algol's hand on the table but he was too strong. Not even both hands could weaken the strength.

Algol: Yawn.

Algol smashes the red head's arm on the table effortlessly. Starkiller shove the injured Yunsung to the floor and challenged Algol. They both gripped each others hands and started to arm wrestle. To Algol's surprise, this man was no ordinary fish fry and was as strong as him. They both had a very intense arm wrestle and Algol was losing.

To his utter embarrassment, he used two of his hands to make Starkiller lose. To Starkiller's amusement, he smashed Algol's entire arm on the table. Making Algol cry in agony. Starkiller took all the gambling money and sat next to the very exhausted Cassandra of last night's 'punishment.

Starkiller: Ah, my beautiful Cassandra. (He massaged her sleepy face) I'm in a good mood right now. If you behave well, I'll go gentle with you next time.

Cassandra: B-but…

Starkiller: (he leans very close to her ear and whispers to her in a very low, seductive voice) very gentle.

She blushes in a VERY bright shade of red.

Cassandra: (damn this, he can be so hot. Damn you Hephaestus!)

Xianghua and Kilik were savoring this very sweet moment cuddling each other in their very warm embrace.

Kilik: Xianghua, every time I see you, you make my gloomy days so bright.

Xianghua: Oh Kilik…

This Magical moment was so romantic, they felt so happy…Well…ALMOST happy. If Amy weren't glaring at Xianghua all the time and she was VERY near in their private space.

Kilik: (whispers to Xianghua) Lets move a little far from her.

Xianghua: (whispers to Kilik) Right.

So the Pair scotch a little, or a LOT away from Amy.

Amy: (two can play at that game!)

She also scotches MORE closer to Kilik and Xianghua.

The pair try to move as far away from the little girl as far as they can. However, she'd always move more closer when they tried to move away from her. Until the pair couldn't move anymore since they are now cornered between the two walls and Amy is still glaring at the nervous couple.

Kilik: Well, at least we tried.

Xianghua: She is starting to scare me out.

10 hours later. All the couples fell asleep. Even Taki, Setsuka, Arthur, and Mitsurugi who weren't even injured that badly.

Unknown to them, a very big ass TV screen appeared on the flat surface on the wall. The person on the screen glanced at each sleeping person and slowly blew a horn…VERY loud.

Everyone woke up to the sound and looked around frantically.

????: Well, did you all have a good night sleep?

Everyone turned to the source of the noise and saw a very huge screen TV. And on that TV was a familiar blond woman with blue eyes. No other than Samara.

Ivy: You filthy worm! Did you put us in this not-so-easy-to-get-out room?!

Samara: Well, DUH!

Talim: Why did you lock us up in here?

Samara thinks for a moment and stares back at everyone.

Samara: Talim, that is a very good question (she starts to pace back and forth) Two reasons. One: I was so pissed at Starkiller and Cassandra for murdering…sniff…those very cute innocent unicorn bunnies…So I locked you all up inside… but just locking those two up won't do any good…sniff… so to be fair…I took it out on all of you and locked you all inside with them…….THAT WAY, THEY WILL LEARN TO NOT KILL ANOTHER BUNNIE AGAIN!

Everyone turned to glare at Starkiller and especially Cassandra.

Cassandra: Um…Hi?

Everyone started to throw fruit and rocks at them.

Samara: The second reason is, this is part of your challenge. You must all try to get out of the maze before morning, if not, the maze will flood and kill you all. Well, bye and HAVE fun!

The TV screen turns off.

Everyone: …HEY! WE ARE IN A ROOM! THERE IS NO MAZE HERE!

The TV screen turned back on.

Samara: I forgot! Your challenge will begin in 2 seconds.

Before anyone knew it, the floor started to crack beneath them and fell in the dark chasm screaming, except Astaroth who believed he was flying.

Samara looks at all the pairs falling until she couldn't see them anymore. She looks at the camera man.

Samara: Well folks, that is it for this show. See you next time on Survival of the Couples!…I hope Starkiller and Cassandra don't make it….

_Author's Note: Yeah, I know, this chapter wasn't that funny or anything but I promise the next chapter will be better. By the way, this is just a question, but do you think I should turn this story to a M rated story than a T rated? You can still **vote** for your favorite pairing and please **REVIEW**. People read this and don't leave one. Bye._


	8. The Maze: Part One

Disclaimer: Don't own Soul Calibur nor it's characters, they belong to Namco. Nor do I own Silent Hill and Its characters. Also, I do not own Star Wars.

Last time, everyone was falling to their destination. Well, guess what? They are still falling for the last whatever minutes or hours.

Everyone felt like they are floating instead of falling in the very dark tunnel, though, Taki did illuminated the area with a glowing stick, OH, a glowing stick! They are able to see each other but they can't still see nothing but darkness.

Taki:…

Mitsurugi:…

Talim:…

Yunsung:…

Xianghua:…

Kilik:…

Setsuka:…

Arthur:…

Kamikirimusi:…

Algol:…

Angol Fear: …

Zasalamel: …

Mina: …

Hwang: …

Ivy: …

Voldo: …

Sophitia: …

Rothion:…

Cassandra: …

Starkiller: …

Amy:…

Maxi:…

Sheherazade:…

Raphael: …

Miser:…

Greed:…

Ashloette:…

Astaroth: …Um…why are we all still flying?

Ivy: You brainless buffoon! For the 27th time we are NOT flying. Get that in your head! We are FALLING!

Astaroth: Oh, okay.

Everyone was quite again.

Mina: Sigh, how long have we been falling.

Hwang: I have no idea, but it feels like years.

Starkiller: GRRRR! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! I HAVE TO HIT SOMEONE!

He stares at Astaroth in a VERY creepy smile.

Astaroth: Huh? W-why are you looking at me that way!? W-wait, what are you doing? N-no! Don't!!!

He stretched Astaroth's underwear over his head.

Astaroth: Ah! Can't see!

Starkiller: So the better to hit you!

Starkiller starts to bash him over the head with a very huge spatula.

Astaroth: Ouch…

Cassandra: Starkiller, don't bully the weak!

He gave her a death glare.

Starkiller: What did you say?

Cassandra: I-I s-said don't … um… b-bully the weak…

Starkiller: …

Cassandra: 'gulp' Don't hurt me….

Starkiller: Of course not (he whispers to her) not without a bed.

Cassandra: … 'gulp'.

Taki: Something doesn't feel right.

Mitsurugi: What do you mean?

Taki: We've been falling for hours! If my nerdy ninja skills are correct all the time since I am such a know-it-all, I bet we'd reach the center of the Earth and burn to death!

Mitsurugi: Your point is?

Taki: Don't you get it? We are not in the center of the Earth (she stares at one of her kunai.) I wonder.

She takes really good aim at the bottom and strikes at the darkness. There was a little flame and before anyone knew it, they all fell down on something really hard.

Amy: Ouch! Stupid floor!

Talim: Where are we?

Taki: (looks around) I think we are in the maze.

They were inside a room, a room that lead to three different passages. Each were lid by small torches. The walls are made from red bricks and on those bricks, nasty looking fungi was growing on the bricks. The group stared in awe.

Xianghua: T-that looks really scary.

Taki: I have an idea! We all split to three different groups, that way, one of us may find the exit.

Ivy: Are you mad! I'm not entering those hallways! I'm staying with my Voldo!

Taki: No! We are all going! And that means you, Ivy!

Ivy: B-but…

Voldo: Ka Ka Ka (If we don't do it Ivy. Then all the people will not get our bondage!)

Ivy: Gasp! My beloved is right! Fine! But because Voldo said so.

Astaroth: You understand him?

Ivy: Yes! You insolent dog!

Astaroth: I'm a doggy? Yay!

Everyone rolls their eyes and turn back to listen to Taki.

Taki: This is my plan. Each group must have a very intelligent leader. I'll volunteer. Who else will like to volunteer?

Starkiller: Hmmm, I like a good challenge! I will.

Taki: Good. One more.

Zasalamel: I guess I will too.

Taki: Good, now we have to choose the pairs that we want with our group. There will be one short, so to make it fair, I'll choose three. I'll take Sophitia/Rothion, Mina/Hwang, and Ivy/Voldo.

Zasalamel: Fine, I think I'll take Algol/Kamikirimusi, Miser/Greed, Xianghua/Kilik, and Amy/Maxi.

Starkiller: Hmmm, so I am left with Ashloette/Astaroth, Sheherazade/Raphael, Setsuka/Arthur, and Talim/Yunsung. Whatever.

Taki: All right then. I'll take the middle passage, Starkiller will take the right and Zasalamel will take the left. Well, I hope we all see each other, if not, it was somewhat nice knowing you all.

So the three groups enter a different path. Will they all succed, will they make it out alive, will Amy try to kill Xianghua, will Sophitia and Rothion still argue about religion, and will Heather's skirt save them all? To be continued………………………………

Right now!

Taki and Mitsurugi's team had a really good start, however they did walk the longest so they all took a break.

Ivy: This is rubbish, we've been walking for hours and hours and we still can't find that damn exit.

Voldo: KEEE KEEE (Don't worry my lovely, We'll make it out!)

Ivy: Oh, that is so sweet! You make this meaningless life have a meaning.

They were all guite again.

Sophitia: I have an Idea! Lets ask Hephaestus if he can get us out of here!

Rothion: As if! All he does now is just sit on his throne and laugh at us!

Sophitia: No he does not and I can prove it!

She positions herself with her right knee high and her left knee, unknowingly, pressed some sort of button on the ground.

Sophitia: Oh, Hephaestus, please get us out of here.

And they did, but not in the way you think. The button turned out to be a trap and they all fell down in this very dark hole. They where all falling until they landed on something hard, but yet wobbly. They also felt some droplets of water on their face.

Mina: W-where are we?

????: You are on a water slide.

Everyone turned their gaze towards the voice.

Hwang: Show yourself!

A big huge FAT statue that had a lot of similarities to a bunny.

Big Fat Bunny: Hello, I am in charge of this ride. Buckle your seat belts and get ready to predent to have fun in this water ride.

The boat locked them down with metal bars. So they won't escape this very fun ride. They all desperately tried to free themselves from the bars, but it is futile.

Sophitia: Oh well, at least we will have a fun ride. Right honey, won't this be fun?

Rothion: We're all dead.

The water ride began as soon as the Big Fat Bunny pulled the lever.

Big Fat Bunny: Have fun! Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Everyone except Sophitia: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

Sophitia: Wii!

They were all going in really fast speed in the water ride. They passed an angry mob of fat ugly chickens throwing eggs at them, they passed a passage were Barney tried to give them a hug to death, Michael Meyers was trying to kill them, and then they were blinded by a bright flash of light.

To everyone's relieve, the ride was over and they slowly halted next to another Big Fat Bunny.

Big Fat Bunny: This is for you.

Sophitia grabbed the picture of them in the water ride. In the photo, Sophitia's hands were waving in the air as if she was crazy with a very huge grin, Rothion had his eyes covered by his hands, Ivy and Voldo were making out… somehow, Taki and Mitsurugi seemed to be yelling at each other about something, and Mina was scared that she covered her face on Hwang's shirt to shield her eyes from the horrors, while Hwang covered her for protection.

Sophitia: Hmmm, honey! You had your eyes closed! Mister bunny, we'll like to go again. I don't like this picture.

Big Fat Bunny: Suit yourself! More to scare you all! Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

So they did go again. They passed an angry mob of fat ugly chickens throwing eggs at them, they passed a passage were Barney tried to give them a hug to death, Michael Meyers was trying to kill them, and then they were blinded by a bright flash of light.

Big Fat Bunny: Here you go again.

Sophitia: Thank you.

She stared at the picture. This time, they all had their hands waving in the air, but they were not smiling.

Sophita: Hmmmm, oh well, at least they seem to had fun. Lets go now.

The metal bars release them from their restraints. Most of them had stomach aches from the ride and others were wet.

Ivy: Uh…I'm going to kill you…

Mina: I-I feel sick!

Hwang: I-I'm going … to (he puked.)

Sophitia: Oh, honey, wasn't that fun?

Rothion: Uh…at least I'm alive.

Taki: W-well…l-let us keep moving… 'blah'.

Mitsurugi: Not even the king of hell…could've stand all that.

Sophitia: Oh, come on! It wasn't that bad! The only one I don't hear complaining is Voldo.

Voldo: Keee Keeee Keeeeee! (I AM complaining! I HATED that ride so MUCH! I couldn't stand my poor Ivy turning green! Thanks to YOU!)

Sophitia: …Well…I do not know what you said. But I'll guess you said you loved the ride as much as me.

Voldo just rolled his covered eyes.

Taki: Lets just keep moving!

So they all continued with their journey. When they entered another passage to this very mysterious maze. They came across a cold chamber. The place appeared to be some kind of tomb. The floors where slippery and there was a cold breeze.

Taki: Something doesn't seem right.

When our heroes took one step forward, a coffin appeared before their eyes. It started to crumble to dust. Then, something emerged from all the dust, it was- Robbie the Rabbit!

Sophitia: Robbie!? I thought you were dead!

Taki: You fool! This is a different Robbie! And it is going to kill us!

Sophitia: Why?

Taki: Just look you bimbo!

The Robbie the Rabbit had a circular chainsaw and it glared at the four couples with red eyes.

Mitsurugi:… Ba, so what. It is only one enemy. I can take him down in a flash.

Taki: Think again! Look around you!

The four couples looked around them and could see very well that their enemy was not alone. Their were 1000 other Robbies with circular chainsaws as well.

Mitsuruge: Oh…then this won't be easy.

All the rabbits charged at them with great speed.

Rothion: We are all going to die!

Taki: Everyone! Brace yourselves!

Will they survive? We'll see next time, to be continued…this time I mean it…to be continued.

Author's note: Well, what did you think? I hope you liked it. You can still **vote** for your favorite pairing and please **REVIEW**. People read this and don't leave one. Bye.


	9. The Maze: Part Two

Disclaimer: Don't own Soul Calibur nor it's characters, they belong to Namco. Nor do I own Silent Hill and Its characters. Also, I do not own Star Wars. I also don't own the song called _Living in The Sunlight Loving in The Moonlight_ by Tiny Tim.

While Taki and Mitsurugi's group are being attacked by Robbie the Rabbits. Lets see how Starkiller and Cassandra's group are doing.

Astaroth: Uh… leader.

Starkiller: What?

Astaroth: I'm tired from walking too much. My legs hurt.

Starkiller: They'll seize to hurt when I chop them up.

Astaroth was scared like the crybaby he is and hid behind Ashloette.

Astaroth: H-he's scary.

Sheherazade all of a sudden screamed and the pairs turned around.

Cassandra: What is wrong?

Sheherazade: I stepped on some disgusting filth, Uh, these shoes are like, so new! They are not cheap. And that crazed bunny lover had to place us in all places was in this run-down maze. Like, why didn't she take us to the beach or something, but here? Like OMGosh, she is like a total slut. She like has no life. OMGosh, I am more perfect than all of you and you know it. Now one of you clean my shoe!

Everyone was glaring at her. For saying the most random annoying things just because she stepped on a rat. Starkiller seemed the most frustrated and glared at Raphael.

Starkiller: Make your annoying girlfriend to shut the 'bleep' up or I'll cut out her eyes and spit in her brain. Then I'll hurl her remains right through that ass of yours.

Everyone was shocked and scared by his warning.

Raphael: Um… Honey, you better keep quiet or he'll…

Sheherazade: No! I can talk when ever I want! And want to know why? I'm a girl and girls are more intelligent than guys! Like, OMGosh, I have like, more friends than all of you. Like, OMGosh, I don't care about any of you but my Raphael. (everyone was starting to glare at her even more and Raphael was getting more worried) Like, OMGosh, to let you all girls know, I'm sorry you gals aren't as pretty as me and all you can do is be jealous of me. 'Cause I'm more perfect.

All the girls, Setsuka, Talim, and Cassandra were really angry for insulting them. Except Ashloette. Who is so emotionless.

Cassandra: S-Sheherazade, if you don't shut the crap up, we'll shut you up.

Sheherazade: Try it. 'Bleep'!

Cassandra: Gasp! That is so-

Starkiller: Relax, let me handle this.

He walks up to her. Then, he gives her a full punch smack down on her face.

Everyone: …Gasp!

She slowly gets up. Some blood dripping from her nose.

Raphael: H-honey…D-do you need he-

Sheherazade: Don't touch me.

She gets up and glares at Starkiller with a bloody nose.

Sheherazade: ……he…hehehehe….you idiot….sticks and rocks may break my bones! …(she grins and has three missing teeth) But it will take much more to shut me up! Fool!

Starkiller:…Okay. (he gave her another punch)

She fell, but got back up.

Sheherazade: Ba! Is that the best you can do!? What a-

He punched her again.

Sheherazade: Oh, wow, that was like, so soft! You-

He punched her several time before you couldn't even recognize her anymore.

Sheherazade: …y-you w-wussy…m..my…Gr-grandma c-can…p-pun-ch m-much…be-better…t-than y-you….

Starkiller: Oh, that is so it. (he draws out his light saber to finich her off) Get ready to-

Sheherazade: Well what are you waiting for!? You can't do it! 'cause I'm the number one 'bleep' in America! Loser!

Starkiller loses his cool and is ready to strike until a blade clashed with his.

Raphael: Please, she won't do it again! She didn't take her happy pills.

Starkiller glared at him for a long time and withdrew his sword.

Starkiller: This better be the last time or she'll be toast!

Talim:…she takes happy pills?

Raphael: Um… yes, it makes her be less annoying and more calm, I take them, too. They keep me sane.

Talim: OH… okay.

Stakiller: What are you guys doing?! Lets go!

Everyone kept on walking. Sheherazade being carried by Raphael on his back.

Starkiller made a turn to his right. What greeted him was a dead end.

Starkiller:…Well, this is just great!

Cassandra: Um, calm down, there must be a reason why there is a dead end.

The four other pairs stood behind the lead couple and had their comments about this dead end.

Ashloette: Why is there a wall standing on our way.

Astaroth: Gasp! Could it be a sign or 'I come in peace' well?

Everyone stopped staring at the wall and looked at Astaroth as if he was crazy.

Astaroth: What?! It could too!

Setsuka: This is stupid! Let me through! I can take this wall down with my sword!

Astaroth: Huh? Me thought it was an umbrella!

Yunsung: What? I thought it was a parasol!

Setsuka: (very furious) It is both! Now stay silent or I'll 'Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep' got it!?

Yunsung and Astaroth: …y-yes ma'am.

Setsuka: Good! Now all of you stand back.

They all stand back. Setsuka whirls her blade behind her, getting itself in flames, then she rushes to the wall with full force. However, the wall resists her attack and she is throw directly to her lover, Arthur.

Yunsung: Dude. That wall is alive, man.

Setsuka: (slowly raises her head) D-did you just call me a MAN?!

Yunsung: Wha… No ma'am… it is a saying that is all.

Setsuka: …once I wake up I'll kill you…

She goes unconscious along with Arthur.

Yunsung: Fudge! She is out to get me now.

Raphael: Hmmm, it seems that this foolish wall won't get out of the way with weaponry. I guess I'll have to destroy it (he gets something from his bag) with this!

They all look at it and then they look at him as if he lost his marbles.

Starkiller: Is… this … a … JOKE!?

Raphael: No…and it will get destroyed with the power of music.

He also gets his radio and puts on that very horrid song titled _Living in The Sunlight Loving in The Moonlight_.

Raphael: Let the music begin!

He bushes the play button and the music starts. The song was very loud and the guy singing it sounded like a total fag.

Yunsung: Ahh! My ears!

Talim: T-the w-wind…IT WANTS IT TO STOP!

Astaroth: Oh, yay my favorite song!

Raphael: My fellow, let us dance to it.

The idiots were tapping like crazy to the lyrics.

Astaroth: Come on my lovely, dance with us!

Ashloette:…okay.

She also dances. While Raphael was dancing with Sheherazade, the only problem was that she was being dragged than dancing. Because from the bruises on her face.

Cassandra: OMGosh! This song is terrible!

Starkiller: Grr! You better turn off this song or I'll-

He was cut short when a beam of light blasted the radio and struck Raphael on the eyes.

Raphael: Ah! Can't see anything!

He runs around like crazy till he drips on the broken shards of his radio. Astaroth was still dancing like crazy till he dripped on Raphael. They are both unconscious.

Ashloette: Oh, he fainted.

She purposely drops on the floor.

Talim: (walks over to Ashloette) Why did you drop on purpose?

Ashloette: Because Astaroth ordered me if he ever fainted, I should pretend to faint.

Talim: Oh, have fun pretending.

Long pause.

Yunsung: Hey, where did that beam of light come from?

They all stared at the direction of the beam that came from the wall standing in front of them.

The wall now had a face and looked pretty damn angry.

Wall: Will you shut up! I hate that song!

Cassandra: Y-your ALIVE!?

Wall: Well, duh! I won't let no one through. You will all drawn here!

Everyone just stared at it. Then the remaining pairs huddled to come up with a plan.

Yunsung: This dude is dead serious. What do we do with it?

Starkiller: I have an idea.

They all whispered and went like 'oh' and 'ah'.

Cassandra: That doesn't sound like a bad idea! Let us try it.

Starkiller was standing in front of Talim while she raised her hands in the air.

Talim: Oh, wind, lend me strength.

Cassandra: (whispering to Yunsung) She still talks to the wind?

Yunsung: …Yeah. I still don't believe it, though.

Cassandra: Then why did you agree?!

Yunsung: I did not want to insult her.

Cassandra: Oh…That is SO sweet, respecting Talim, even thought she is a bit crazy about the wind.

Yunsung: S-she is not crazy! She is just…um…

Cassandra: Come on. Admit it!

Yunsung: Shut up! Why did YOU agree? Are you afraid that Starkiller will get mad at you for not agreeing?

Cassandra: (off guard) Ah…ah…T-that…Is NOT true…(she quietly crys) Oh…Okay, it is true! Shut up!

Yunsung: …(why is she crying? It is not like he-)

He was cut short when Cassandra was hit by a huge object about her size.

Yunsung: W-what…

Talim: Oh no! That wall threw Starkiller at Cassandra. Oh, I thought if I threw him with full force with my wind he would surely destroy it.

Yunsung: A-are you serious?

Talim: Yes.

Wall: Hahahahahahaha! You are all fools! You think you can destroy me, wrong, nothing can! Nothing!

Yunsung: Nothing?

Wall: That is right! Nothing!

Yunsung: Not even this! (He pulls up the yellow shirt of Talim revealing a very seductive bra with lace.)

The wall was so attracted to her lovely bosom. It had a nose bleed. Yunsung took this as an advantage and charged at him with full force. Piercing him with his sword.

Wall: NOOOOOOO!

The wall exploded in million fragments.

Yunsung: Yes! We did it! Talim, did you see how I-(he got a slap from Talim.)

Yunsung: Ouch! Why-

Talim: You pervert! You showed him my bra! What where you thinking!? Grrr!

Yunsung: Um, well…

Talim: Oh, lets just let it go for now. What do we do with these guys, we can not leave them here, They'll drawn.

Yunsung: Yeah, but we can't carry them either. Not even a stud like me can handle it.

Talim: Sigh, do you think we should try to wake them up?

Yunsung: Um, nah, Lets just sit here and wait until they wake up.

Talim: But, what if we are running out of time! This cave may fill up with water before they can even open their eyes.

Yunsung: Relax, ask the wind how much time we have left.

Talim: Okay, that is a good idea.

She closes her eyes and concentrates.

_Talim: Oh wind, how much time remains?_

_Wind: You have nine hours left till it fills with water._

_Talim: Oh thanks wind._

_Wind: So, did you tell him yet?_

_Talim: What?_

_Wind: Oh, don't act so oblivious as if you don't know what I mean honey! Did you tell him you love him._

_Talim: I don't want to talk about it._

_Wind: Okay, but you have to admit you love him even though you don't want to admit it hun. Even though he gets to you._

_Talim: O-oh… I-it is …j-just a crush….ah…you don't know what you are TALKING about! …Stop reading my mind!_

_Wind: You know you like him._

_Talim: Grrr, end of discussion!_

She opens her eyes and looks really annoyed.

Talim: The wind said nine hours.

Yunsung: Great! See, I told you we had a lot of time!

A long pause.

Yunsung: Talim.

Talim: Yes.

Yunsung: Are you mad at me?

Talim: … Well … maybe a little.

Yunsung: Do you hate me.

Long silence.

Talim: N-no! I am mad at you but that doesn't mean I am mad at you. Even though you do really stupid things.

Yunsung: Oh, okay then.

Yunsung lays on the floor crossing his hands behind his head and looks at the ceiling. Talim sits next to him.

Talim: When do you think they will wake up?

Yunsung: No idea. But right now I just want to act lazy.

Talim: You are no gentleman!

Yunsung: Duh, the greatest things in life are the things you can't do.

Talim: …You got that from the quote you were given on your profile, didn't you.

Yunsung:…

Talim: By the way, why would you want an amusement park.

Yunsung: Well, when I was little, I always wanted to go to the amusement park…but NO! That idiotic father of Seung Mina always said 'if you can't afford it, you won't go' Grrrrr. That geezer always made me SO mad. So that is why I am looking for Soul Edge, to protect my amusement park if I get that money when I win.

Talim:…..OMGosh, how many times should I tell you!? That 'bleep' sword is 'bleep' evil you 'bleep' boy! You are three years older than me and you want to protect a worthless amusement park!? Wasn't it Korea!?

Yunsung: Oh, that was only a lie I made up. To make it seem I cared for that place.

Talim: Why you…

Yunsung: Relax, look at this way, we'll both be getting what we want. I'll get the money since you don't want it, and you won't have to …to …to ….

Talim: …to?

Yunsung:…Marry me.

Talim: …! … T-that's right…

Both: … **:(**

Unknown to them, Starkiller didn't pass out at all and took Cassandra to a private place to 'punish' her. While the idiot Astaroth was dreaming that he was a crazy old man killing and eating fat pigs.

Author's note: Well, what did you guys think of this chapter here? I hope you guys like it. On the next chapter we will see what is going on with Zasalamel's group. You can still **vote** for your favorite pairing and please **REVIEW**. People read this and don't leave one. Bye.


	10. The Maze: Part Three

Disclaimer: Don't own Soul Calibur nor it's characters, they belong to Namco. Nor do I own Silent Hill and Its characters. Also, I do not own Star Wars.

Last time, the remaining couple were able to defeat that huge talking wall. Now let us see what our last group are doing right now. Ah, it seems that Zasalamel and Angol Fear are fighting… again.

Zasalamel: For the last time woman! I think we should go this way!

Angol Fear: NO! I want to go this way, idiot!

Xianghua: W-why don't we go to the passage Zasalamel wants to go to? I-I mean, it looks more save.

Angol Fear turns around and yells at her with her demonic-alien voice.

Angol Fear: NO! I WANT TO GO THIS WAY!

Kilik: A-are you sure?

Angol Fear: Yes!

The passage Angol Fear wanted to persuade everyone to take was pitch black and you can hear voices of pain. While the other Zasalamel preferred was lighted with torches and the only sound it made was silence.

Kamikirimusi: Oh, I know! Let us vote which side we want to take to settle this argument.

Algol: Ah, as clever as ever my succubus.

Kamikirimusi: Ah, thank you for the complement, my very sexy hunk of incubus.

They stared into each other's eyes and began to kiss each other.

Miser: Yuck! Smooch latter and start voting!

So that is what everyone did. And Zasalamel received more votes than his mate Angol Fear. She got really pissed, but 'tried' to respect the outcome in a 'good way'.

Angol Fear: YOU FOOLISH MORTALS! DON'T YOU SEE YOU HAVE LEAD US TO OUR DEATH!? I HATE YOU ALL, THAT IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT! HMPH!

Algol: Hey! I am not a mortal anymore, I am a very hot demon dude.

Kamikirimusi: Yeah! So shut up! Only me, my darling, and you along with your darling are the only ones that will live forever!

Everyone else who was not an immortal was scared of the idea of dying.

Miser: …I w-won't DIE! …Want to know why?! …Cause I … will be remembered… once I killed Yoshimitsu! Yeah!

Greed: You bimbo! I will kill Yoshimitsu!

Miser: Will not!

Greed: Will too!

Miser: Will not!

Greed: Will too!

Miser: Will not!

Greed: Will too!

Miser: WILL NOT!

Greed: WILL TOO!

Amy: You guys are idiots.

Amy turned her back on the ironic pair so she won't have to punch them. However, she wished she haven't.

Kilik embraced Xianghua in a very tight hug.

Kilik: Xianghua, I know you'll die someday, but as long as I live you won't die!

Xianghua: Oh, Kilik.

Amy was really angry. Her face was entirely red.

Amy: (I AM GOING TO KILL THAT BIMBO!!!)

So the group proceeded into the passage. At first, everything was cool, but then behind them. A huge wall blocked where they came from. And another in front of them, they are trapped.

Angol Fear: This is just GREAT! (she starts to shake Zasalamel) Why!? This is all your fault! We should have taken the other passage! Now, I'm stuck here! With these two other immortals (Algol and Kamikirimusi) and these mortals that I'll have to see die in front of my eyes! I don't want to spent all eternality in this room! Ah!

Zasalamel: Relax! Woman, not all is lost. Look in front of you and open your eyes!

She did what he told her. The wall that has blocked their path had a face on and a little box stuck underneath it's mouth.

Angol Fear: I demand to know who the fudge you are!

Wall: I am the brother of the wall that has been defeated by your friends! For that, I can not let you pass without an offering.

Zasalamel: What offering do you want?

Wall: Come close and I will tell you.

So Zasalamel and his sweet came near the wall and it whispered to them what it wanted to let them pass.

Zasalamel: I see…everyone else but Maxi come here.

Everyone but Maxi were huddled and started to whisper and giggle.

Maxi was kind of scared that he was left out from the crowd and walked up to them with shaking legs.

Maxi: W-what... a-are y-you g-guys t-talking about?

Everyone turned to Maxi and they all wore very scary looking faces of mischief and walked towards him very slowly. While Amy got out a pair of scissors.

Maxi: … wait! W-what a-are you guys planning to do?! What where you talking about?!

Zasalamel: HOLD HIM DOWN.

Everyone did what they where told and pinned him down to the floor. Amy standing over him.

Maxi: W-what..

Zasalamel: Get ready to amputate!

Amy: Yes sir!

Maxi: Amputate!?

Xianghua: Sorry, Maxi, but this is for your own good!

Kilik: This won't hurt a bit.

Miser and Greed: Oh, boy, this is going to get juicy!

Maxi was so freaked out that he stared into the eyes of Amy that were filled with pure evil.

Amy: (in a very low voice that only Maxi can hear) I will enjoy _every_ second of this.

Maxi: No, wait. What are you going to cut off!?

Zasalamel: Something very precious to you.

Maxi: …no! Not that! Anything but that!

Slash.

Maxi: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh (This is a very loud scream XD)

In some part of the maze, Talim and Yunsung heard the scream.

Yunsung: Dude, what was that!?

Talim: I don't know. But it sounded like a young damsel in distress.

Yunsung: Yo can say that again.

Now to Taki's group who are still fighting the never-ending enemies of Robbie the Rabbits heard the scream, too.

Sophitia: Oh dear! Is someone in trouble!?

Ivy: Forget about that for now, fool. We have other problems to deal with!

Sophitia: Oh, okay then.

She went back to fighting her bunny.

Now back to our heroes.

Maxi: Ahh, p-please, stop cutting! Please stop cutting I can't take it anymore.

Kamikirimusi: Oh! Will you shut up!

She punched him on the face to stay quiet.

Kamikirimusi: Oh, I hope I didn't punch him so hard!

Maxi: O-ouch…

He passed out.

Amy: I'm done!

Zasalamel: Good! Now give it to me.

They gave him the part that Maxi wouldn't willingly let go and gave it to the wall.

Wall: Hmmm, you may now pass.

Zasalamel: Okay, let us go now.

Everyone walked out to continue their journey. While Amy dragged Maxi with a rope around his neck.

Xianghua: Oh, now I feel really terrible for what we have done to Maxi.

Kilik: It's okay. It wasn't that bad.

Xianghua: I know but-

Amy hugged Kilik. Faking a cry.

Amy: Oh, Kilik! I was so scared for what I did! I hope he will be okay.

Kilik: Ah! Get away from me, creepy girl!

Xianghua: Yeah, you didn't seem so concerned for our friend! Do you even love him!

Amy: (glares at Xianghua) Shut up! I just hid my feelings!

Kilik: Get of me!

He runs over Xianghua. Gripping her hand.

Kilik: Lets us go now.

Xianghua: That will be a good idea.

While the pair walked away from Amy. Amy slowly got out her pistol and had it directly pointed to Xianghua's path.

Amy: (This is it Xianghua! You are going to die and Kilik will be all mine! I tell you! MINE! Bwahahahahahaha!)

She triggered the gun. But no bullet came flying out. Amy did it a few more times and no bullet came out. She panicked and checked her gun. It was not loaded.

Amy: Grrrr, this is worthless!

She threw her gun at the floor and began to drag Maxi again.

Maxi: (Starting to wake up) Eh. Oh no! Why did you guys do it!

Zasalamel: Oh, be quiet! It was not that bad.

Maxi: Yes it was! Y-you g-guys… SLASHED MY GORGEOUS HAIR! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE ANY OF YOU! I HATE YOU ALL! I HATE YOU!

Everyone gave him the look and began with their journey. Then they stopped near a lever.

Xianghua: Why is there a lever here?

Kilik: Oh, I know! It wants us to push it!

Kilik pulled down the lever and nothing happened.

Maxi: That is it!?

Everyone: Hmmmm.

However, there was great roar of thunder and everyone was frantically looking around them. They couldn't figure out where it came from at first. When they all turned around. Their jaws stood open and their eyes were bulging out. The maze was starting to flood with water.

Everyone: ….RUN!

They all began to run away from the water. No matter how fast they ran. The water seemed to always go faster.

Angol Fear: This is not what I was expecting when I came to this show!

Zasalamel: What do you mean woman!? This is a survival for us couples!

Algol: I know! I will build a force field to stop the water.

Algol stopped running and made a powerful force shield to stop the flood on its tracks. Then he began running again.

Moments later the flood collided with the shield. However, the flood was too strong that it smashed the shield in seconds and began to chase after the group with more determination than before.

Flood: Fools, not even a shield can stop me! I will drown you all!

Maxi: (shocked) You can talk, too!?

Xianghua: No way!

Flood: Yes way! I'm going to get you. My precious darlings! Bwahahaha!

Everyone Else:… Ah! It is nuts! RUN!

Flood: Fools! No matter how fast you run you won't escape from me!

Everyone was running as fast as they can as if they were being chased by a crazed Tira chick who wanted to rape them. Even thought she was dead.

Xianghua got so exhausted that she tripped and passed out. Amy noticed this and didn't let anyone know.

Amy: (YES! If she stays their the flood will drown her and I will finally be able to be with Kilik. Yes! Nothing can ruining this-)

She was cut short when Kilik noticed Xianghua wasn't near him running. He stopped and turned back to save Xianghua. However, he was stopped by Amy whom blocked his path.

Amy: W-what are you doing?! Forget her! Save yourself!

Kilik shoved her out of the way and ran towards his beloved, Xianghua. He finally reached her and threw her behind his back and began to run away from the angry talking flood.

Meanwhile, Mitsurugi's and Taki's group were finally able to defeat the bunnies that all have been slain. They were really relieved that they were able to handle the situation, but…

Seung Mina: Gasp, gasp, gasp… phew. They are no push over's.

Ivy: These pathetic bunnies got on my nerves! They are no darlings!

Then, Zasalamel's group came to the room, while running past them.

Sophitia: Where are they going?

Taki: Oh no, I think I know why! Run!

Taki grabbed Mitsurugi's hand and they began to run as fast as they can. Hwang, Mina, Ivy, Voldo, Sophitia, and Rothion turned their heads with wide eyes.

Flood: Stop resisting ME!

Hwang: RUN!

They began to run like another mob of bunnies were chasing them. Meanwhile, Talim and Yunsung were STILL waiting for the rest of their group to wake up.

Talim: … Hold on a minute! Where is Starkiller and Cassandra!?

Yunsung: Hmmm, maybe they were hit so hard they were blown somewhere else in the maze. Don't worry, we still have time to kill. We will find them-

Talim: Hey, Yunsung! Look over their! Is that the others.

Zasalamel's and Taki's group were running towards them. Screaming.

Mina: What are you guys doing there!? Run!

Talim and Yunsung: Run?

A few moments later, the flood was visible chasing after our heroes.

Talim and Yunsung: What the Fudge!?

Yunsung: Didn't you say the place was going to fill with water in 9 hours?

Talim: Y-yes. I don't understand.

She closed her eyes to talk with the wind.

Talim: Wind. What is going on!? Did you not tell me the place will fill with water in 9 hours.

Wind: Yes, but Kilik accidentally triggered the process much more faster. You have to get out of there in 5 minutes or you are all going to drown.

Talim opened her eyes.

Talim: We have to get out of here! There is no time left for neither of us! But what about them. We can't leave them here.

The others carried the wounded on their backs to not leave them behind.

Taki: Now let us go! I don't want to carry Setsuka all day!

Mitsurugi: Same here with Arthur!

Talim: B-but, what about Cassandra and Starkiller?

Sophitia stopped running.

Sophitia: My sister isn't here?! I can't leave without her!

Rothion: Come on! I am sure they are okay!

Sophitia: B-but…

Rothion: Just pray to Hephaestus that she'll be okay.

Sophitia: Oh! That is a good idea! Okay, let us keep on running!

Talim:… hmmm.

Yunsung: Come on! Let's go!

So they all began to run as fast as they can away from the flood. While they ran, they tried many methods to stop it. Taki Used seals to the stop flood on it's tracks, Zasalamel tried to lay a course on it, Talim tried to push it away with the wind's help, etc. No matter what they tried, nothing seemed to affect it.

Yunsung: Man! We are in serious jelly!

Sophitia: Oh, I like jelly!

Ivy hit Sophitia on the head.

Ivy: Not jelly! He means we are in trouble!

Voldo: Kakree (Yeah!)

Sophitia: So no jelly…

Everyone else: NO!

Sophitia: Hmph!

They kept on running to a corner of the hallway, to find themselves trapped!

Angol Fear: GRRRRR, ZASALAMEL! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! IF WE TOOK THE OTHER PASSAGE, THIS WOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED!

Zasalamel: OH, WILL YOU STOP SCREAMING, WOMAN!

Angol Fear: NO!

They kept on fighting about who's fault is it, until Xianghua woke up and found this lever near her.

It looked very shiny.

Flood: Bwahahahaha! You are all going to drown here, forever!

Maxi: Oh no! We are going to die. Xianghua, if you can hear me, I-

He did not finish his sentence when Xianghua pulled down the lever. They all sprang up very high. Smashing through the concrete ceiling.

Flood:… Oh damn it! Now who will I drown then?!

One our latter.

All the couples where in a serious mess when they reached the cabin they all slept in. Who they found there was Samara. With a smile on her face.

Samara: Why, Hello everyone! How are you doing? Did you guys have fun in the maze?

Everyone:… No…

Samara: Well, at least you guys survived.

Talim: D-did we win.

Samara: Well, not all of you! You see, when I was here giving proper burials to the bunnies that died. Starkiller and a very messed up Cassandra were the first to come here. I asked why Cassandra's clothes and hair were messed up and he said 'we were having fun, a lot of fun.' Hmm, I wonder what he meant… So the winners are Starkiller's group for today. Each couple in his group get 1000 points. Congrats!

Setsuka: Bwahahaha, In your face Taki! I have more point than you and your man do!

Taki: Oh, shut up!

Ivy: Hey! That is not fair!

Samara: Yes it is! This was the most hardest challenge I threw at you all!

A few moments later, Cassandra showed up. Every time she walked, she always seemed to wobble.

Sophitia: Oh, sis you are alive.

Sophitia went up to hug her sister in a very tight hug.

Sophitia: Are you okay?… Sis, why were you wobbling?

Cassandra: Um (I can't tell you) I fell down the stairs.

Sophitia was staring at her sister for a long time.

Cassandra: (oh…Did she figure it out!?)

Sophitia: …Well, you have always been clumsy! Be a bit careful!

Sophitia walked away leaving a surprised Cassandra.

Samara: Well, people, that is all! See you next time on Survival of the Couples! Oh, Maxi, nice hair cut.

Maxi: Shut up!

Author's note: Well, this was a long chapter, hope you guys enjoyed! You can still **vote** for your favorite pairing and please **REVIEW**. Bye.


	11. Christmas Special

Disclaimer: I OWN nothing! I will never own the characters of Soul Calibur Nor that character in Starwars! I also don't own Heather from Silent Hill.

In a cold quiet night, Samara is glaring outside her window at the stars in the very huge ugly black sky.

Samara: This is stupid! It is almost going to be Christmas and I don't even see the constellation of the great sexy pink BUNNIE of Christmas! …Sigh, what should the challenge be for tomorrow? I still haven't thought about it.

There was a book of Christmas challenges under her bed. She crouched down to get it. With caution, she slowly opened the forbidden pages of the secret to make her day tomorrow on X-mas eve.

The next day…

Samara: Everyone wake the fudge up! We are going to a great journey of fun and magic! NOW WAKE UP ALL OF YOU!

Everyone woke up in a hurry. Not wanting to get in trouble like last time for Starkiller and Cassandra killing the unicorn-bunnies.

Zasalamel: Will you be quiet or I'll kill you! You ruined my beauty sleep!

Samara: (angry) It YOU are not quiet! YOU will be in BIG trouble mister!

Zasalamel stayed silent.

Samara: You too, Maxi!

Maxi: Me?! Why, I didn't do anything wrong!

Samara: Cause I like to torture you!

He was crying in fear.

Amy: Maxi, do you know what ballet I like in Christmas?

Maxi: Sniff, no, what?

Amy: NUTCRACKER!

She kicked him between his legs, again.

Maxi: O-ouch. (he dropped on the floor, dead. Just kidding.)

Samara: Good one!

Amy: Yeah, whatever.

Starkiller: So, what is this challenge of yours today.

Everyone is waiting for her answer.

Samara: Well, since the holidays are coming up, I think I should for- I mean encourage you all to be in the holiday spirit! Does that sound like fun?!

Everyone just remained quiet, till…

Sophitia and Talim: That is a wonderful idea!

Everyone Else: Huh?

Sophitia: Why not? Everyone should have Christmas, it is the year to be with your loved ones.

Talim: Christmas is the day of giving and sharing! Also when people are less foolish!

Sophitia: Sigh, I wonder what my brother and children are doing for the Holidays… I bet they are decorating a Christmas tree!

THIS IS WHAT THEY ARE **REALLY** DOING!

Her brother, Lucius. Along with her son, Patroklos. Are hiding behind a tree that is not decorated yet, from Pyrrha. Who is searching for them, in a bad way.

Patroklos: U-uncle, she looks creepy.

Lucius slowly ducked his head out from the tree to find Pyrrha watching _Black Xmas._

Lucius: P-Pyrrha…?

She slowly turned her head around like the exorcist.

Lucius: N-now, be a g-good girl and help me and your brother to decorate the Christmas tree.

Long silence.

Lucius: W-well, w-what do you say?

Everything around the room turned black and Lucius and Patroklos hugged each other shaking in their boots.

Then, there was a little creepy girly giggle singing _Silent Night, Holy Night._

NOW BACK TO THE SHOW.

Sophitia: Hmm, I wonder if they are feeling better? I wish I was back home.

Rothion: Me too.

Samara: …Well, you have Cassandra here! So you don't have to worry being without your family.

Zasalamel: Do we have to celebrate Christmas? I find it very meaningless.

Angol Fear: NO!

Zasalamel: No what?

Angol Fear: YOU promised ME that we will be spending Christmas together! ALONE!

Zasalamel: But…

Angol Fear: NO Buts!

Zasalamel: Oh, fine! But how are we going to celebrate this so called holiday.

Everyone turned around and stared at Samara for a response.

Samara: Well, we will be doing five things! First, we are going to travel to the North Pole. Second, we will decorate a very HUGE and very FAT Christmas tree. Third, we will all have a Christmas dinner. Forth, you will all write letters to Santa. Last and finally, exchange gifts with your partner. Any questions?

Yunsung: Well-

Samara: Good! Then let us move on then.

Yunsung: Hey! I have to ask, man! Why in the world do we need to write letters to Santa? He is no real. He is just a fairy tale.

Long silence. Samara turns around to give him a very pissed off look at his face. He was shaking now in pure fear.

Samara: What…did…you…say?!

Yunsung: Uh…well…

Samara: I hate you now!

She is walking towards him with intent to kill.

Yunsung: W-wait! What did I-

Samara: Are you saying that Santa doesn't exist!? Are you really that pathetic!?

Yunsung: Well…

Samara: ARE YOU!?

All the other couples never knew she can get this mad. Over something so unimportant. Yunsung was so freaked out, he collapsed on Talim.

Talim: Ahh!

He collapsed on her.

Samara: …If anyone else have any other questions?

Long silence.

Samara: Good, cause I don't want to hear it.

Samara walked inside her house to get something.

Talim: Can anyone help me to get him off me? Please!?

She did try to struggle to get him off her, suddenly, she felt a very strong hand gripping her buttocks.

Talim: Gasp!

Mina and Hwang walked over to the pair and removed Yunsung off the little body of Talim.

Mina: Talim, are you okay, did this donkey hurt you anywhere?

Talim:… Hold him still.

Hwang and Mina were confused but they held him still. Talim walked over to the red head, and gave him six slaps on each side of his face.

Talim: You pervert!

Yunsung slowly fluttered one of his eyes open and beamed at Talim with glittering eyes.

Yunsung: It was worth it.

Talim got mad and walked off in pure rage.

Mina: Yunsung.

Yunsung: Yeah?

Mina: You are an idiot!

Both Mina and Hwang dropped him on the ground with disgust and walked off. A few minutes later, Samara came outside and told everyone to stand back or they will all die. They all did what she demanded and her house blew up in flames.

What emerged from the flames was a very big train from the _Polar Express. _The only difference is that the front of the train has a very huge bunny head in a Christmas hat.

Samara: Okay now, let us take our leave.

The passenger door opened to reveal Luna dressed in a conductor outfit. Her hair was loose which made her look so cute.

Luna: All right all you dumb couples, before you all enter this train, here are some rules you should all follow. One, don't you dare say anything about how cute I look in this hair style, I hate it, I couldn't find my scrunchies like no where! Second, you may curse on this train. We are all adults here, we can curse now. Third, you all must have your tickets.

All the couples were shocked to realize they don't have tickets.

Luna: LOL, just kidding you dummies, now enter this train or would like me to help you die.

They all entered the train without another word.

Luna: Next stop, the north pole.

Now, since this is a magical train. It flew up in the sky without needing to travel on train tracks. Which is okay I guess.

Every person was sitting next to their spouse listening to some sort of background music.

Sheherazade: Like, Oh my gosh, this is like so boring! Raph, I am bored.

Raphael: Now, relax my flower, this is Christmas. Being with you and my daughter Amy is all that matters to me.

Sheherazade: Like, that is so sweet. But, like what really matters to me is only gifts.

Raphael: I know me pumpkin, I know.

On the other seat next to them, Angol Fear and Zasalamel are arguing.

Angol Fear: Why?! Why, why, why, why?!

Zasalamel: Because, I already told you for the 46th time. I won't make love to you.

Angol Fear: B-but, I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES!

Zasalamel: Sigh… no, that is final.

Angol Fear got so mad that she began to complain a lot about how long she has been a virgin and all she wants this Christmas is to get laid. To the discomfort of every passenger inside the train.

Angol Fear: Besides, I have a fine bosom

She began to cry and all Zasalamel can do is cover his face in great annoyance.

Mina: Wow, she is very good in crying like that. For some reason, I never did like that woman.

Hwang: That is only 'cause she has your fighting style, isn't it?

Mina: …Well, fine, maybe that is.

They were quiet.

Mina: …Hwang.

Hwang: Yes?

Mina: Do you like Christmas?

Hwang: …I don't find it that important, besides, what is the meaning of it if I don't have it with anyone.

Mina was silent, then she blushed and looked back at Hwang.

Mina: Y-you know, I-I really don't have anyone to share it with e-either… and uh (very shy) d-do you mind if we can share it together?

Hwang stayed silent and his face was turning into many shades of pink and red. Red as the color of Christmas.

Hwang: S-sure, w-whatever.

Mina: G-good.

They were silent again, but their hands seemed to have embraced one another.

Now, on the seat behind them. Kilik was cuddling his beloved Xianghua on his very strong arms. He was wondering what kind of gift he should give her this year, something that she will adore. He looked up and saw a very angry Amy glaring over her own seat in front of him.

Kilik: Uh, hi Amy. Are you hungry or something?

Amy: Why, yes I am. (Hungry to kill her!)

Kilik: Uh, okay. Hey, where is Maxi?

Amy: Oh, him? Sleeping.

Not really, he was kicked in between his legs again by Amy when they entered the train. Making him go numb from pain. Why did she kick him? Just for the fun of it.

Kilik: Uh, aren't you going to cradle him. I mean, he is your partner.

A vein was starting to form on her forehead.

Amy: W-well, just cause he is my partner does not mean I love him. I'm only here for one reason.

Kilik: Gasp! Are you trying to kill my Xianghua again?!

He held her tightly. Which made Amy grow more veins on her forehead.

Amy: O-of course not! (I am so going to kill that 'bleep'!) b-besides, I can change. Can't I?

Kilik: Uh, okay.

Amy glared at the sleeping Xianghua one more time and sat back at her seat. Moments later. Luna came out with a cart of food.

Luna: All right, time for lunch.

She passed out each couple with a tray of food.

Kamikirimusi was so happy, that she told Algol to open his mouth big and wide to eat his treat.

Kamikirimusi: Now, open those very sexy lips of yours so you can devour this food.

Algol: Ah, the one I feel like devouring is you.

Kamikirimusi: Hmm, what a charmer.

He ate the piece of pie entirely by the help of his sweet heart. Angol Fear tried to make Zasalamel eat his food, but he wasn't hungry at all.

Angol Fear: Now, Zasalamel, eat or I hurt you.

Zasalamel: Sigh, go ahead.

She got mad and has begun to hurt him.

Everyone was done eating and they all looked outside the window.

Sophitia: Wow, look Rothion! Doesn't the snow look so pretty.

Rothion: Why, yes, it really does.

Sophitia: Gasp, I can't wait to do a snow angel! Rothion, do I look cute in this outfit?

Rothion took a really good look at her, she was wearing a red Christmas top and mini skirt. Her boots where half way up to her knees and around her neck were jingle bells. She wore white sparkling gloves and a very huge Christmas hat. He blushed.

Rothion: Y-you look…very hot.

Sophitia: Uh, thank you honey, that makes me so happy! Now I want you to wear this!

Rothion: W-what is that?

Sophitia: Just wear it!

He wore on the outfit. He wore a sleeveless Christmas coat with very baggy pants. He also wore a hat with white Christmas gloves.

Rothion: Uh, why does mine have no sleeves?

Sophitia: Oh, to show your muscles! Silly!

They were not the only ones who wore Christmas clothes. So did everyone else, Voldo and Ivy wore bondage that looks almost Christmas like. Zasalamel wore a hooded coat to hide his baldness. Taki wore a very tight outfit with a picture of a Christmas tree on her chest.

Samara also wore an outfit. The only difference to everyone's other outfits is that it is sky blue.

Samara: All right everyone, hold on to something tight.

She held on to the handle of the train.

Ivy: Why?

Samara: Cause we are going to crash.

Everyone just stared at her.

Everyone: Why?!

Samara: Well, we are going to the north pole, but the train ran out of fuel, so um, yeah, you guys may want to hold on something tight. Laugh out loud.

Everyone on the train scurried to fasten themselves onto something tight. Ivy held on to Voldo and Voldo held on to Ivy. Yunsung held onto Talim's buttocks, which made her angry. Cassandra was held tight by Starkiller, while Kilik held tight to Xianghua, this made Amy mad and kicked Maxi on the same spot just so she can take it out on him. Soon enough, the train crashed down on the North Pole. Everyone is safe, except Maxi, he flew out the train by one of the windows.

Samara: Yay, we made it!

Ivy: Open your eyes! Dimwit! One of us flew out the train!

Samara: Well, yeah, but I am sure he is alive.

She opened the door of the train, outside, they can see that Maxi landed on a pile of snow and only his legs are visible. They were moving a lot and all you can hear are muffled screams.

Samara: See? He is alive. Now let us move to the next activity. I will now lead you all to the Christmas Tree.

Luna, on the other hand. Stayed behind to fix the train.

Luna: Take your time, cause fixing this tree will take me a long time!

Samara: Okay!

Amy walked over to the pile to get Maxi out of the pile of snow. She tied his right ankle to a lasso and pulled him out. Then, she began to drag him.

Maxi: Ahh, you can let me walk now.

Amy: No!

Maxi: B-but..

Amy: No or I will whip you!

He stayed quiet and began to cry cause the snow was so cold. Twenty steps later, they made it to the Christmas tree.

Samara: Yay, we made it! Now all you guys have to do is decorate this Christmas tree.

Zasalamel: Do we have to?

Samara: Well, duh! If you don't… you won't be getting Soul Edge nor Soul Calibur this year.

Zasalamel: What did you SAY!?

Samara: What I said. In the end when you exchange gifts. The one who has been really good will get both weapons. However, if none of you do my challenges, I guess no one will-

She was cut short cause everyone began to decorate the tree in a frenzy.

Ivy: I must get those swords so I can destroy that blasted sword!

Zasalamel: I want to kill myself with them.

Algol: Need to make myself whole.

Yunsung: Need to make my amusement park with it.

Astaroth: I want to use it to make Ashlotte a real live girl.

Samara was surprised that the idiots actually fell for it. She knew she may have to hide after they find out she doesn't really have neither sword, but for now, she will be sticking around and laugh at their stupidity.

Starkiller: Allright, get out of the way!

Starkiller shoved Samara out of the way. He stood in front of very huge Christmas balls. Concentrating, he used the force and place every single one on the tree in mere seconds.

Taki: Ha, I can do better!

Taki with great speed and agility, she spun around the tree. Placing the lights quickly but with great care on the pine.

Algol: Now it is my turn!

Using some voodoo magic, candy canes appeared on the tree.

Zasalamel: Fools! Is that the best you can do? Watch how a real pro does it!

Zasalamel changed the color of the tree sparkling white that shown just like the snow all around them.

Xianghua: Wow, it is so pretty, but it seems like it is missing something. Oh, an angel on top of the tree!

Amy: (angry because she didn't think of it herself) Oh yeah!? Where do you expect us to get an angel, fruitcake?

Xianghua: Simple! We dress Sophitia in a very charming white tunic and make her wear this cape.

She held up some wings that looked really realistic. Amy got even more jealous.

Amy: Oh, and how do you expect Sophitia to stand up there all day? Huh?

Xianghua: Well, there is already a platform up there. Besides, Talim can use the wind to fly Sophitia up there. Right Talim?

Talim: Yeah.

Kilik: Wow, you are so bright, Xianghua.

Xianghua: I always try to do my best.

Amy grew so jealous, that she screeched and stormed off dragging Maxi.

Xianghua: Is she mad at me?

Kilik: Nah, who'd be mad at you?

So, everyone dressed Sophitia up in a white holy tunic, and placed the wings on her back. Talim used the wind to glide Sophitia up to the platform.

Sophitia: Yay! This is so exciting! Rothion, look! I'm finally an angel now!

Rothion: You were always so angel like, I think this suits her.

Everyone else: Well, duh!

Once Sophitia made it to the top, the whole tree sparkled like the stars in the sky. Mostly everyone was in awe.

Samara was really impressed by the creativity of everyone.

Samara: Wow, you guys did a really good job. Now to move to the third part. Let us eat dinner!

Zasalamel: Where are we going to eat dinner?

Samara: Stop asking useless questions! Right in front of the tree.

Suddenly, 14 tables appeared out of no where for each couple to sit on. Heather appeared before them with a huge tray of food.

Heather: All right them, everyone sit down so I can serve you the meal.

Astaroth: Mommy!

Astaroth was so happy to see her. That he ran right up to her and gave her a bear hug.

Astaroth: I miss you mommy!

Sophitia: Oh, sniff, that is so sweet.

They were all still able to hear Sophitia from way up from the tree.

Heather: (Damn! He really took it seriously when I agreed to be his mom!? What do I do!?) Ok-okay A-Astaroth. W-will you l-let me g-go? C-can't b-breathe!

Astaroth: Oh, sorry!

He let go of her.

Heather: All right, now will all of you sit down now?

Everybody sat down with their respected partners, the table, seats, and Rothion were glided up to the Christmas tree since Sophitia couldn't come down till the Christmas started.

Heather served everyone the food and drinks. When everyone was done eating their meal, Samara told them that it is now to write the letters to Santa. At first, no one didn't feel like it, till Samara blackmailed them she won't give them the soul swords. So everyone began to write the letters.

Lets see what Cassandra wrote on her letter to Santa.

_Dear Santa,_

_I don't now what to do! Starkiller treats me very bad when he is angry at me! When he is upset, he hits me on the face! B-but, he also treats me very gently when he is on a good mood and he says he loves me! A-also, the love he makes to me feels SO good! I don't now what to do! What do I do Santa!? What!?_

_Lots of love, Cassandra Alexandra_

Oh, that was an interesting letter! Now let us see what Amy wrote.

_Santa,_

_I HATE YOU! BUT I DISPISE XIANGHUA WITH A BURNING PASSION! I also hate Maxi just because I freaking feel like it! I also hate my step father, too! Oh, but Kilik, Mmmmm, Kilik…_

_I hate you Santa, Amy Sorel_

…Wow, lets see what Talim wrote.

_Dear Santa,_

_I want everyone here to have a really good Christmas this year! So far, everything is going really well, I never had a Christmas. My first time is going so well! However, I wished that Yunsung was not that much of a pervert. He keeps on touching me in places. I want him this year not to be so troublesome. Sigh, why oh why can't he act his age? May everyone have peace on Earth, that is all I want._

_Love, Talim._

Wasn't that a sweet letter, now, what did Sheherazade write?

_Mr. Santa,_

_I am not so sure if you are real or not, I will care less. However, like oh my gosh, why are you so fat every year? Don't you ever think about, like, losing some pounds? Your fat, but I'm beautiful. Like, what I want this year, is like, jewelry, make-up, clothes, birth control pills, blah, blah, blah! Like Oh my gosh, your so fat!_

_Merry Christmas, Sheherazade_

Hmm, let us see what Angol Fear wrote.

_Oh Santa,_

_This is the most worse year ever! All I want this Christmas is for Zasalamel to make love to me! But he keeps on and ON, rejecting me! Why?! I'm hot and sexy! I mean, I AM A FREAKING 14,800__TH__-YEAR-OLD-VIRGIN! Gasp, I just want to get laid! Is that too much to ask for?!_

_Angol Fear._

… That was a very odd letter. Let us look at one more, how about Astaroth's.

_Dear Mr. Santa guy,_

_Hi, I still believe you! I don't care what anyone says! They are just mean cause they were naughty people! This year, um, uh, I want pancakes, toys, crayons, paint, chocolate, teddy bears, and uh, could you turn Ashlotte into a real live girl?_

_Lots of love, Astaroth._

When everyone was done writing their letters to Santa, they all handed them to Samara, and Samara took them all to the mail box.

Samara: Well, let us wrap things up by exchanging gifts! Who wants to go first.

Yunsung: Oh, we do, we do!

Samara: Okay, we will start with them!

Talim: Here, Yunsung, this is for you.

Yunsung was so trilled to get a gift from Talim. However, once he unwrapped it, he was not so happy.

Yunsung: Uh, what is this?

Talim: Isn't is obvious? It is the great book of manners! Do you like it?

Yunsung: … You don't think I have manners?!

Talim: No!

Yunsung: …

Talim: Did you get me anything?

Yunsung: Yep, here.

Talim opened her gift, but not in such a hurry. She pulled out her gift from the box and glared at Yunsung.

Talim: What is this?!

Yunsung: It is a see-through bra and panties. Like them?

Talim: …You pervert!

She threw the gift at his face and walked off fuming.

Yunsung: …Hey! What is the deal?! She wears see-through pants!

Samara: You are so dumb! Who's next?

Starkiller: We will!

Samara: Oh, goody, what did you get Cassandra.

Starkiller unwrapped his present. It was a golden necklace. The text in the middle read _Mine_.

Starkiller: This is for you, Cassandra.

He placed it neatly around her neck.

Starkiller: (whispering in her ear) This is just a little something to let you know who _you_ belong to.

Cassandra: Uh…uh…

Samara: Oh, you are such a lucky gal! What did you get him?

Cassandra: W-well, n-nothing…

Samara: Nothing!?

Cassandra: Well you see…

Starkiller: Did you forget? Silly Cassandra, you did get me something this year.

Cassandra: I did?!

Starkiller: Yes.

He whispered in her ear, Cassandra turned all pale again and passed out.

Samara: Oh, why would she faint? Who is next?

Astaroth gave Ashlotte crayons, she gave him worms.

Greed gave Miser money, she gave him a gift card.

Hwang gave Mina a dress, she gave him a kiss on the check.

Zasalamel gave Angol Fear a book of anger control, she gave him a slap.

Kilik gave Xianghua a golden necklace, she gave him sweets. He likes sweets.

Raphael gave Sheherazade a new pair of shoes, she gave him a new cape.

Algol gave Kamikirimusi a wrestling arena, she gave him a new throne.

Maxi was forced to give Amy a new white dress, she gave him a smack in between his legs.

Rothion gave his wife a bible, Sophitia just cried cause he doesn't really like their old religion anymore.

Voldo gave Ivy a very tight swimsuit, she gave him very tight swimming trunks.

Mitsurugi gave Taki the first season of Naruto, Taki yelled at him for giving her this trash and threw it at his face.

Arthur gave Setsuka a new kimono, she gave him a kiss.

Samara: Well, it seems that we are done with everything! Let us go back now and pack things up.

Zasalamel: Not so fast! Did you forget?

Samara: Oh, I don't know what you are talking about?

Zasalamel: You know very WELL what WE are talking about! I want those swords!

Samara: ….Oh…that…Will you wait here for me to find it.

Samara ran off inside the Christmas tree, which turns out to be a house as well.

Everyone was waiting for her to come out. Ten minutes later she still didn't come out. Fifty minutes later she still didn't come out. Two hours later and she STILL didn't come out. Everyone lost their cool and crashed inside the Christmas tree/house. She was gone.

Zasalamel: That little! GRRRRRRRR!

Yunsung: Damn! I wanted that amusement park!

Astaroth: I wanted to turn her into a human!

Ivy: I will kill her for this!

All of a sudden, they heard laughter in the sky. Everyone came running out of the tree. What they saw awed them. They saw Santa on his sleigh on the big dark night.

Santa: Hohoho! Merry Christmas! Hohohohoho.

Santa lifted his right handed up and what he held was Soul Embrace. Everyone just had their eyes open in shock and they all began to chase him and yelling at him to give them the sword. However, Santa disappeared and then it began to snow. Everyone was so mad that they began to yell.

Starkiller: That is it! All of you prepare to meet my wrath!

He used his force and made snow balls. He aimed at every single person in sight.

Starkiller: Bwahaha! Now for my prize!

He swung the unconscious Cassandra behind his shoulder and began to take her to a private room.

Samara came out of her hiding place and witnessed everything that happened.

Samara: …Wow, at least I hope they won't attack me the next morning.

She looked up the sky and skipped in glee. She finally saw the constellation of the great sexy pink BUNNIE of Christmas!

Samara: Thank you Santa!

She looked at the camera man.

Samara: Well, I wish all my viewers a very merry Christmas! Till next time!

Authors note: Well, I was finally able to finish this chapter during Christmas day! I wish you all a happy holiday! This must be like my second longest chapter! Please review and you can now all vote for your favorite pairing on one of my polls on my profile! Happy holiday, again!


	12. Romeo and Juliet

**Author's Note: **Hello everyone! I AM SO SORRY FOR THE VERY LATE UPDATE! I hope you enjoy this chapter. I am very sorry!!!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Soul Calibur, characters from other games like Heather and Starkiller, and I do not own Alminna (She belongs to Angelic Wing). I do own my OC Samara.

Samara: Hello readers, today the couples are going to show us a play poking fun of Shakespeare's works! The judges and me are going to rate their performance! The best one will result each of getting 5000 points.

She looks at Luna and Heather.

Samara: Hey, where is the other judge?

Luna: How am I supposed to know? Maybe teddy bears or something ate her.

Heather: Idiot, she could also be late.

Luna: So what if she is late? I do not care!

Heather: You have been acting like a total jerk recently. Rock dumped you, right?

Luna did not say anything.

Heather: I feel sorry for you.

Luna: Okay! Chester dumped me! How!? How could he dump me for Abelia!? I am ten times sexier than she is! It is not fair! Chester and Rock, I hate you both! Wawawawawawa!

While crying, the door next to her flung open, slamming her against the wall.

????: Oh, I am so, so sorry that I am so late to get here. I encountered cute fluffy rabbits that tried to eat my hair. I am so lucky that I was barely able to escape from them.

Samara glares at her.

Samara: While you tried to escape from them, you did not kill one. Did you kill one?

????: N-no, I didn't.

Samara: Splendid! I reckon you are the fourth judge here. My name is Samara, what is yours?

Alminna: Oh, my name is Alminna Alexandra. It is nice to meet you.

Samara: Hmmm, Alexandra… Oh! Do you know the Alexandra sisters on this show?

Alminna: (Blush) Y-yes. I'm their cousin.

Samara: Great! Let me intrudes you to the other two. This is Heather with the green skirt. Luna is the one you accidentally slammed her to the wall with the door.

Alminna: Oh, I'm so sorry.

Luna slowly walks towards her and places her hands on her shoulders. Then she raises her head to glare at her.

Luna: After this is over, you will be very sorry!

Heather: So childish.

Samara: Okay! Let the plays begin!

The judges take their set to watch the play of Romeo and Juliet!

Heather: Who are the couples that are going to this play, Samara?

Samara: Here is the list.

Samara gave her the list, and Heather began to scan through it:

Kilik as Romeo

Xianghua as Juliet

Rothion as Friar Laurence

Sophitia as Nurse

Arthur and Setsuka as parents of Juliet

Taki and Mitsurugi as parents of Romeo

Amy as Rosalie

Maxi as Benvolio, Tybalt, and Paris (LOL)

Samara: Lights, camera, and humor us!

Heather: By the way, have you seen my skirt? I couldn't find it and I had to wear some jeans instead.

Samara: Haven't seen your skirt. Now let the play/movie start!

The curtains open and big huge lights illuminate the stage on the stage. It starts with Kilik (Romeo) leaned against a tree looking sad. Until his friend, Maxi (Benvolio) comes over to him to cheer his up.

Maxi: Yo Romeo, why do you look like loser who has no friends?

Kilik: My friend and cousin Benvolio, I am sad 'because I tried to dump Rosalie again because she is too young for me, but she won't leave me alone.

Maxi: But why will you want to dump her? She has fair skin, rosy locks, and leering eyes that dig deep inside your fears.

Kilik: I do not love her! The fair Juliet (Xianghua) has stolen my heart. Her smiles radiates the day with her giggles, her eyes are as tasty as chocolate, her lips are as wet as her tears, and her personality finally makes me see the light! If you want Benvolio, you can have Rosalie. You do need a girlfriend and she needs a boyfriend.

Maxi: … Fudge no!

Kilik: Why not?

Maxi: She frightens me, every time I make her mad she will whip me senselessly with her whip and choke me at night (he falls on the ground and begins to weep like a puppy) Oh the seven seas! Why was I stuck with her on this blasted show? Why!?

Kilik: … I have to go now.

Kilik walks away leaving Maxi to cry and talk to himself in front of the tree. In fact, Maxi is now TALKING to the tree.

Maxi: Oh, tree! What should I do now?

Tree: To shut up.

Maxi: Huh?! You talked?

The leaves on the tree rustle and someone leaps out of them and land right on top of him. The attacker begins to whip him.

Amy: You stupid, stupid idiot! Did I not tell thee to convince him not to dump me! You are as useless as the stinky garbage!

Maxi: (crying) Ah, stop whipping me!

She did not stop whipping him until she felt like it, which usually lasts for more than two hours. Meanwhile, Romeo went to visit Friar Laurence (Rothion) for his help.

Kilik: Hello Friar.

Rothion: Ah, hi Kil- I mean Romeo. What brings you here?

Kilik: I need you to wed Juliet and me.

Rothion: Oh, that will be a good idea. Your families will probably stop fighting if you both reunite. Besides, what was it that your family has against your lover's family?

Kilik: Ah, it had to do something with pancakes.

Rothion: …Pancakes?

Kilik: Yeah…

Rothion:…

Kilik:…Will you wed us?

Rothion: Yeah, just sneak here at night.

Kilik: Yes!

He leaves the church all happy with the idea getting married to Xianghua.

Meanwhile, Juliet (Xianghua) and the Nurse (Sophitia) are getting ready for a bogus party that is going to take place in the lost cathedral. Xianghua is wearing a white, laced gown with a matching pair of slippers and a feathered mask to hide her identity. The Nurse gave one more squeeze to tighten the bow around Xianghua's waist.

Sophitia: Oh, you look so beautiful Xian-I mean Juliet.

Xianghua: 'Giggle' thanks Nurse; I think I look grand as well.

Xianghua walks out of her room to the balcony to gaze at the stars in the dark sky.

Xianghua: Oh, I hope my Romeo does come to the party. I miss him so much, but my parents hate Romeo and his family over a stupid thing.

Sophitia: Oh, is it because you both have a different religion?

Juliet turns around and stares at the nurse.

Xianghua: Um…no.

Sophitia: No? Is it that Setsu- I mean your mother is a half-breed and the Montagues don't like her?

Xianghua: …No.

Sophitia: Sigh! I got it!

Xianghua: What?

Sophitia: It is because your mother loves to eat pancakes, but Lady Montague doesn't. Lady Montague loves to eat ketchup, but your mom doesn't. They both have big boobies, but the other doesn't want the other to have them as well. Right?

Xianghua:…

Sophitia:… (Grinning like a maniac.)

Xianghua: Well…five years ago my mommy and daddy and his mommy and daddy had a very stupid contest; the one who can get themselves drunk and run outside naked screaming 'I'm crazy! I'm crazy!' will have to give up their supply of pancakes…

Sophitia: Who won? Your parents or Kil-I mean Romeo's parents?

Xianghua: His parents won. Therefore, my mom began to do a vendetta against his mom, when my dad tried to protest, she got mad and smacked daddy three hundred times across the face, kicked his testis, shoved his face in the toilet, and tied him down on a chair making him by watch teletubies.

Sophitia: (shocked) That…sounds…Aweeeeeesoooome!

Xianghua: …Are you serious?!

Sophita: Yes! I think watching teletubies is the most entertaining enjoyment in the entire world. (Now she finally lost it and began to squeal) I do not know what vendetta means, but I love it!

Xianghua: Um…that word is not really a go-

Sophitia: But it sounds so pretty. When this play is over, I am going to tell my husband 'I vendetta you' instead of the usual 'I love you.'

Xianghua:…Ok…

Mean while, Romeo and Benvolio wear Robbie the Rabbit masks to hide their ugly faces and to avoid getting killed by Juliet's parents.

Kilik: I am so excited about sneaking inside the palace of my beloved dressed up as a furry. Even though I know if we get caught, they will probably slice of our heads. Right buddy old pal?

Maxi: …(terrified) …Uh… You know…I am way, WAY too young to die, Romeo.

Kilik: You didn't have to come. Didn't you say you hate going to parties?

Maxi: Yeah…

Kilik: What made you come all of a sudden, Benvolio?

Maxi: Well…

**Flashback**

Maxi: You want me to what?!

Amy: You heard me! I want you to go to the party and win Juliet's heart you piece of junk.

Maxi: B-but what if I get caught? They will kill me, since I am not a Capulet!

Amy: Do I look like I care what happens to you moron? As long as Romeo doesn't get caught, I am happy.

Her eyes turn into little hearts just imagining herself and Kilik being alone together.

Maxi: Y-you are crazy! I'd rather get whipped then going to the party!

Benvolio crosses his hands and looks away from Rosalie. Rosalie gets mad and draws out her DUPER-SUPER OMEGA 2009 WHIP OF PURE DESTRUCTION!!!

Amy: (In a very dark whisper) _Then let me grant you that wish, you scum…_

He screams and goes on his knees, begging not to get whipped by her spiky whip.

**End of flashback…**

Maxi:…Why should I even tell you man! I can come here if I want to!

Maxi waits for an answer, he turns to look at Kilik and he is no longer next to him. He frantically searches for him, until he spots him climbing up to a balcony.

Maxi: Dude! What the heck are you doing up _there_?!

Kilik: (looks down from where he is) What does it look like what I'm doing? I am going to sneak into Juliet's room to see her.

Maxi: B-but what if she is not in there? You'd get killed!

However, Romeo already made it to the top and finds Juliet standing near her drawer.

Kilik: Juliet!

Xianghua: Oh my Romeo!

They bolt towards each other to embrace each other's warmth.

Kilik: Ah, my Juliet, I have been dying to see those brown eyes, silky hair, cherry lips, and that wonderful smile that will even make straight women to go on their knees.

Benvolio has been outside the balcony listening to their conversation.

Maxi: (Straight women?)

Xianghua; Oh my Romeo, how I graved to feel your warmth against your broad body. Your eyes will dazzle and woman and man.

Maxi: (Man?!)

Kilik: You know, my Juliet, I want to do a little naughty thing with you.

Xianghua: 'Giggle' What is it?

Kilik: I want to turn of the lights.

Maxi gulped, getting really nervous what they were going to do, Juliet giggled and turned of the lights.

Kilik: I want you on the couch, near the TV.

They sit on the couch.

Kilik: Under the blanket.

They go under the blanket.

Maxi's face got as red as a tomato, his pores got all sweaty, eyes wide from anxiety, mouth wide open, and shaking all over.

Maxi: (Are they going to do what I think they are going to do?! NO! Juliet is mine! All mine! I am not going to let her be his!)

Benvolio enters the room and yells at them!

Maxi: No! I will…not.. L-let you … What the heck!?

Romeo turns around and stares at Maxi for a long time. Until he smiles at him and extends his hand to give him a bowl of popcorn.

Kilik: Do you also want to joins us watching _Kung Fu Panda_ with me and Juliet? Body old pal?

Benvolio's mouth hangs in awe and shock.

Maxi: You guys weren't going to… You wanted to watch _Kung Fu Panda_?!

Kilik: Duh! That is why I sneaked into her room in the first place! Since her family are being distracted in the party down stairs, I took the opportunity to be alone with her.

Xianghua: The best part is he bought me this movie for my birthday. Romeo is soooo romantic!

Maxi: …So you weren't going to…

Kilik: To do what?

Both Juliet and Romeo stare at Benvolio for an answer.

Maxi: …Oh never mind.

He sits next to them and watches the movie. Unknown to him, Rosalie has been hiding inside a tree near Juliet's balcony. She glares at Benvolio and the movie of the fat panda. She curses under her breath many times. Romeo and Juliet have to split up. She doesn't want them together. She draws out her gun and points it to Juliet's direction.

Amy: (If I kill her now, then Romeo will be mine! All mine!)

Rosalie was ready to pull the trigger, unfortunately, a bird swooped down and snatched it out of her hands. Rosalie screamed in fury, causing her to lose her balance and falls of the tree with a loud thud.

The trio bolted and turned their heads for the source of the sound.

Kilik: W-who was that?

Xianghua: I-I don't know… but it sounded a lot like Tira…

Maxi: B-b-but Samara killed her…

They all remained silent.

All Three: … We are being HAUNTED!!!

They all screamed and ran around in panic. They looked the doors and windows, turned of the TV, and hid under the blanket… on the same bed…

Rosalie, on the other hand, got up and glared at the stupid bird that is flying away with her gun.

Amy: Damn you bird! I'll get you after this play is over! Hmph, stupid bird… What do I do know?

Pondering what to do next to separate them, then out of the blue, she spotted the parents of Romeo. A sneer appeared across her face when a wicked idea brewed inside her sick little mind.

Lady Montague (Taki) and Sir Montague (Mitsurugi) have been searching for their son Romeo all day long. They feared that he ran off chancing yet another bunny into the woods. Along with that crazy girl, Samara.

Taki: Romeo! Come out this instance! If not, NO dessert after dinner!

Mitsurugi: Boy, you better come out right now! I am sick and very angry to be walking around searching for you! I'd prefer to have sake then this!

They frantically kept on searching like cat and mouse. Until Amy showed up.

Amy: Hello.

Taki and Mitsurugi: What do you want girl?

Amy: (How rude!) I know where your son, Romeo is.

Taki and Mitsurugi: Take us to him, now!

Meanwhile, Romeo, Juliet, and Benvolio are still huddled and hiding behind the huge TV. Shaking in their boots.

Suddenly, they heard the door open and a big huge dark figure crept inside the room. It walked around the room; muttering some sort of strange language and staggering while doing so. Until it stood in front of the TV.

The monster began to raise its arms high into the air and roared. This caused Romeo to come out his hiding place and attacked the creature very, very hard with his bamboo stick.

Kilik: Die monster! Die!

Monster: Ga…S-stop… hi-hitting me… I am… n-not a m-monster!

Romeo stopped hitting him and took a good look at the monster. The monster was right, it is not a monster, it was Juliet's father, Sir Capulet (Arthur).

Sir Capulet gets dizzy and passes out. The trio scream and they circle around Sir Capulet's body.

Kilik: Oh, why me? I killed Juliet's father!

Xianghua: Don't worry, Romeo, he is still alive, see, he's snoring.

Sir Capulet is snoring like a pig.

Maxi: W-what to we do with him.

Xianghua: Let us hide him under my blanket.

Romeo and Benvolio carry him to the bed and cover him with the blanket.

Kilik: N-now what?

Xianghua: Uh…uh…I know! We should put him make up! That way my mom won't tell that it is my father!

She grabs her make up kit and applies lipstick, eye shadow, eye liner, blush, and powder. Know he almost looks like Xianghua (but an ugly version).

Maxi: Why the heck did you put him make up?!

Xianghua: I don't know! Know we need a wig!

All three look around the room to find a wig that looks similar to Juliet's hair. The only problem is that the hair is orange and it has lots and lots of lice. However, they still used it and wore it around his head.

All three of them stood there to examine their master piece.

Kilik: Eh… He looks good enough to fool people to think he is Juliet.

Sophitia: I agree.

Complete silence. Juliet, Romeo, and Benvolio,s eyes flew open wide and stared at the nurse.

Xianghua: Nurse?! How long have you been here?!

Sophitia: Well Xian-I mean Juliet, I heard lots of noise and I came up here to see what all the fuss was about.

When the nurse finished. The door flew open and a very, and I mean VERY drunk woman entered the room. It was Juliet's mom, Lady Capulet (Setsuka.)

Lady Capulet staggers around the room till she lands beside her husband, farting.

Setsuka: Oh, my dear child, …why are there two of you? Hiccup.

She began to laugh like a donkey and farts one more time before she fell asleep.

Xianghua: Kilik…

Kilik: Huh…Yeah Xianghua?

Xianghua: How is this play even Romeo and Juliet?

They all remained silent.

Kilik: Uh… I don't know.

Suddenly, the door flew open with a bang and the parents of Romeo stormed inside.

Taki: Romeo! How many, many times have I told you not to watch Kung Fu Panda with this girl!

Mitsurugi: Yeah! I had to come looking for instead laying around just drinking sake!

They both stopped screaming when they heard the Capulets snoring like donkeys on Juliet's bed.

Taki: Does Juliet have a twin? If so, she is very ugly.

Mitsurugi: Yeah…This one got the looks of her father.

Xianghua:…

Kilik:…

Maxi:…

Sophitia:…Ah…Are we talking about apples?

Everyone: No!

Taki: Now…back to the topic! Why do you disobey our orders!? Didn't we tell you that Juliet is a clown and smells like garbage!

Kilik: (Angry) No! She is none of those things! I love her with all my heart! She is special to me! Why won't you two listen!?

Mitsurugi: Well, boy, I really don't care who you end up with. But if I don't, your mom will cut my hair.

Taki: I will still cut your hair, mister! It is too spiky and I don't like men with spiky hair!

Sir Montague covers his precious hair.

Mitsurugi: No! Not even the king of hell can cut my-

Lady Montague slashed his hair.

Taki: No…but a woman can.

Mitsurugi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

He falls on his knees in agony. Maxi fells sorry for him, he knows how it feels to lose that very precious hair.

Kilik: Uh…By the way, how did you even know we were here?

Taki: That _thing_ over there lead us here to you.

Amy: I AM NOT A THING!

Taki: Whatever! Now, Romeo, come with me this instance or I will force you to!

Kilik: No!

Taki: Yes!

She grips his arm and pulls him out of the room. Amy smiled, screaming in joy inside her head!

Amy: (Yes!!! Now Kilik and Xianghua will not be together! I win!)

Well, she might've. If Lady Capulet didn't wake up just before Taki was about to leave. She does a huge leap from the bed and lands in between Lady Montague and the exit of Juliet's room.

Setsuka: Grrr…Why are you here you 'bleep'!? You want to mess with me!? Do ya, DO YA?!

Taki: (sniffs her breath) Uh, no, and your breath stinks. Now, get out of the way or I'll-

Lady Capulet gives Lady Montague a sissy slap across the face very hard. Lady Montague stumbles back. She blinked a couple of times to regain herself. She growls and runs up to Lady Capulet and gives HER a manly slap across the face. Lady Capulet gasps and growls at Lady Montague and charges inward and they begin to have an epic cat fight.

Juliet, Romeo, Benvolio, and even Rosalie watch in awe.

Setsuka: I am going to kill you. Ninja wannabe!

Taki: Shut up. Half-breed.

Setsuka: Gasp, I am going to…grr.

While they are fighting. Benvolio takes a few steps back to avoid getting hit by the ferocious Asian women. However, he drips and his butt lands on the CD of Kung Fu Panda; smashing it.

Romeo sees this and gets really angered.

Kilik: Get ready to die, Tybalt!

Maxi: What?! How can I be Tybalt when I am Benvolio?!

Xianghua gives him the list of the cast and he scans it to find that he has three parts!

Maxi: W-what!?

Kilik: Die!

Romeo swings his staff around in circular motions to hit Maxi. Maxi did his very best to avoid each strike, until Amy stuck her foot out and he fell on the floor. He prop himself up, but Romeo loomed over his fallen body, growling at him.

Maxi: W-wait! I-it was just an accident! I-I swear! B-besides, didn't Romeo want to kill Tybalt for killing his other bff?

Kilik: That movie _did _have a part!

Maxi is silent for a very long time. He screams like a little sissy until Romeo swung his weapon down and knocked Maxi unconscious. Romeo huffed for a bit and yelled at Maxi for some reason.

Amy: (Now it is my chance!)

She threw a dagger at the lamp that illuminated the room. She ran to Juliet and knocked her unconscious. Using her whip to curl it around Maxi's foot. She threw Xianghua over her shoulder and dragged Maxi outside the window. It took Kilik a few minutes to register what happened.

Kilik: Juliet! I'm coming!

He jumps out the window, leaving behind the fighting moms and the unconscious dads.

Meanwhile, the Friar waited for Juliet and Romeo to come so he could wed them on the Altar. They told him they will be there at eight o'clock sharp. However, it was already past ten and he began to worry.

Rothion: Hmm, where could they be?

Then, a little girls with red curls tied into pony tails storms inside the church and frantically looks around until her eyes find the Friar standing at the altar.

Rothion: Hello, what brings you-

He didn't finish his sentence. She took a big leap and kicks him on the head. He falls on the floor with a loud thud and Rosalie lays Juliet on the table and throws Maxi on top of her.

Amy: This is the last straw! I can't stand neither of you two! I am going to finish you both off for good and then I will have Romeo at last! Bwahahahahahahaha!!!

She searches around her dress for the weapon that will end the live of her rival. However, she can't find it.

Amy: W-what!? Where is that gun!

Then, she hears footsteps coming closer to where she stands. Not wanting to get caught for murder, she hides under the body of the sleeping priest. Meanwhile, Maxi comes to and supports himself with both his hands. He stays still for a bit to get back his eye sight.

When he is able to see, he finds himself on top of Juliet!

Maxi: W-what!

Kilik: Paris! You pervert! I am going to kick your ass!

Maxi turns to his right and finds himself in very deep, deep trouble.

Maxi: W-wait! L-let me explain!

Kilik: I don't want to! I have to hit you to make this play epic!

Maxi screams like a little girl. He hops off of Juliet and runs around like crazy to get away from the psycho Romeo.

Maxi: This is not fair! Who was the dumb ass that gave me three parts in this play.

One of the judges shouts from her seat!

Samara: I DID IT! IT IS JUST SO MUCH FUN TO SEE YOU LIKE THIS!

Alminna: Samara!?

Samara: What?

Alminna: That is just too cruel!

Samara: So? I killed Tira and this is nowhere near as cruel as that.

Alminna:…Well…

Now back in the stage. Romeo has Maxi corned and Maxi begins to cry.

Maxi: Ah, don't hit me!

Kilik: I don't want to hit you…but if I don't Samara said she'll disqualify me and Xianghua if I don't.

Romeo runs inward and whacks Maxi many times over the head until he stopped screaming. Exhausted, he limps towards Juliet and falls on the ground, unconscious.

Kilik: I am so tired.

He takes out a drinking bottle called THE SUPER SUGAR SWEET.

Kilik: I wanted to save this for Juliet, but what the hack.

Romeo takes a big sip from the hyper drink. He waited for a few seconds later till he got very, very high. He began to laugh like an idiot and ran around the room singing Christmas songs and hitting himself with a bat.

Rosalie, on the other hand, got out from her hiding place and tried to sneak away from the high Romeo. Unfortunately, he saw her from the corner of his brown eye and yelled.

Kilik: Where do you think you are going!?

Rosalie screamed and ran as fast as she could, but Romeo is more faster. He caught up to her and knocked her out with a huge, fat book.

He got so high, that he fell on the ground and giggled like crazy. Juliet, woke up and found Romeo giggling like a high school girl. She ran to him and began to cry.

Xianghua: Oh my Romeo, I can't bear to see you like this! For you, I'll get myself high, too.

She also takes a greedy sip from THE SUPER SUGAR SWEET. A few seconds later, she also got high and began to run around like a mad woman. She drew out her joke weapon called the brush, and began to draw funny faces on Rosalie, Maxi, Friar, Romeo, and even herself.

She too got high, fell next to Kilik and giggled like crazy the whole night.

This is the tragic, yet very funny end of Romeo and Juliet.

The curtains close and all the judges remained very quiet.

Samara: …Hmm, what did you three think of the play?

Luna: It sucked! How was that even Romeo and Juliet? In the end they both got high instead of dead! I give them a big, fat zero!

Heather: Well, this was a parody of Romeo and Juliet, but a little too laid back, two.

Alminna: I feel so sorry for Maxi, but the play did seem hilarious, I give it a five.

Samara: Well, I found it so funny! The catfight, the trio giving Arthur a makeover, the way Maxi got tortured, and when Xianghua and Kilik getting high in the end. I give them a ten!

Alminna: Um, Samara.

Samara: Yes?

Alminna: That was just acting, right?

Samara: …

Samara got saved from the bell and went up to get it.

Samara: Hello?

She didn't see anyone outside. Ready to go back in, she felt a light tug on her pants and looks down to see a little blue creature with orange checks. It also has a sign around its neck, this is what is written:

SO I HEARD YOU LIKE MUDKIP.

The pokemon smiled up at her and Samara just stared at it. Meanwhile, Alminna give the introduction what will happen on the next chapter.

Alminna: Well, on the next chapter, The other group will make a parody of Hamlet. Come back next time! Hmmm… when will Samara come back? She still did not answer my question.

**Author's note:** I am sorry again for my late chapter! My only two excuses is that I was very lazy and I was almost running out of ideas! But do not fear, I will finish this story. Please review and you can still vote for your favorite pair.


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